Projector Screen Comic Strips - Page 3
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122 Results for Projector Screen
View 21 - 30 results for projector screen comic strips. Discover the best "Projector Screen" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 06,
2004
Tags problem, valuable advice, stare at screen, death, gather data, blinded by obvious, medical
Transcript
The Boss: Try working around the problem. Dilbert: "Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death." The boss: "Gather data before making a decision." Dilbert: "GAAA! I've been blinded by the obvious!"
Sunday September 19,
1999
Tags give his presentation, irrelevant comparisons, low budget, development time, computers faster, obvious insights
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"
Monday November 07,
2005
Tags dance club, allow anyone, screen potential customers, dance moves, incorporated air guitar
Transcript
I opened a dance club that's so exclusive I don't allow anyone in. "I personally screen every potential customer until I find a reason to exclude." "Have your dance moves ever incorporated the air guitar?" "Yes."
Sunday November 25,
2012
Tags annoyance, screen savers, company logo, corporate rule, agenda, meeting, business
Transcript
Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.
Thursday March 10,
2011
Tags blinds, co workers, cubilce, screen glare, sunlight, vampire, window coverings, share office
Transcript
Dilbert: why do you keep closing the blinds? Mordac: Screen glare? GAAAA!!! Dilbert: Screen glare. Alice: don't care.
Thursday December 13,
2007
Tags mordac, preventer of information services, network changes, on vacation, 3 weeks, russian submarine, arctic circle, blank screen, coincidence
Transcript
Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."
Wednesday March 12,
2014
Tags competition (psychology), mobile (cell) phones, money, tiny screen, enormous phone, expensive, paid mortgage, phone with tiny screen
Transcript
Topper: I see you have a phone with a tiny screen. That must be embarrassing compared to my enormous phone. Dilbert: Is it expensive? Topper: It paid off my mortgage by mining Bitcoins. Topper
Sunday May 04,
2014
Tags inventions, thinking, product ideas, billion dollar ideas, unwilling, corporation, dumb person idea, pretend, drone that attacks, wooden screen phone
Transcript
Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?
Monday May 26,
2014
Tags business ethics, crimes, mobile (cell) phones, large screen smartphone, stealing, life of crime, chosen lifestyle
Transcript
Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.
Wednesday July 07,
2021
Personal Growth
Tags pandemic, positive, personal growth, lockdown, afraid, fear, prison, life of crime, attraction, empathy, people, screen faces
Transcript
dilbert: one positive thing about the pandemic is all the personal growth i had during the lockdown. for example, i'm no longer afraid of going to prison, so... a life of crime is more attractive than ever. dogbert: did you lose your empathy for other people? dilbert: you mean the screen faces?