Psychological Evaluation Comic Strips - Page 3

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28 Results for Psychological Evaluation

View 21 - 28 results for psychological evaluation comic strips. Discover the best "Psychological Evaluation" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sand wedge, sandwhich, golfing, caddy, losing adavantage, eating quickly, angry intern, hungry

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The Boss: Give me a sand wedge. Asok: "This sandwich is all I have for lunch. You can take my pride but not my sandwich!" The boss: "I think I'm losing the psychological advantage with my foursome." mmmph chew-chew-chew! hee-hee!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Did you finish the technical evaluation?" "First draft." "Um...this says nothing but literally 'Blah, blah, blah.'" "I like to nail the spacing first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time management expert, evaluation, curing cancer, extra hours, increase chances

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Dogbert the Time Management Expert. Dogbert says, "I can tell by looking at you that it doesn't matter what you do with your time." Dogbert says, "I don't think you'll be curing cancer if I give you a few extra hours per week." Dogbert says, "In fact, it would probably increase your chances of getting it." A man says, "Are we done? I need a smoke?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new senior engineer, ready for promotion, 5 year intern, mean, unfair, poor business model, department won't grow, train new guy

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Asok: "I heard that you got approval to hire a new Senior Engineer." "As an intern, I have performed all the functions of a Senior Engineer for the past five years. I am now ready for promotion." The Boss: "I plan to hire someone from outside the company." "Must control tiny fists of intern fury." The Boss: "I have the approval to fill the Senior Engineer position but there's a ban on hiring new interns." "So, if I promote you, my empire... oops... I mean my department won't grow." Ask: "Gaaaa! My despair has turned into a searing psychological pain! Ow ow ow!" "That reminds me, I need you to train the new guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance review, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, trash talking, lunch, objectives, glowing email, 7 stages, psychology

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Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, interrupting work, jargon, meeting with boss, not enough passion, stupid trendy, performance evaluation

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Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, managers, useless, double standard, guest artist, donna oatney

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Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

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Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, evaluation, value, catch-22, fired, termination, engineering

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Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.