Realize Your Job Comic Strips - Page 3
969 Results for Realize Your Job
View 21 - 30 results for realize your job comic strips. Discover the best "Realize Your Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 20, 2011's comic on:
Share December 21, 2011's comic on:
Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money
Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.
Share January 02, 2012's comic on:
Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.
Share May 18, 2012's comic on:
Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.
Share June 10, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.
Share June 07, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Stop telling Tina how to do her job. You're not her boss. Dilbert: I was just helping out because her boss has his priorities all backward. Boss: She reports to me. Dilbert: I'll email your boss some suggestions for fixing you.
Share June 12, 2012's comic on:
Share July 15, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I got a job." Dogbert jumps onto the hassock and says, "I'm the new spokesperson for 'Harry's Hair Growth Solution.'" Dogbert asks, "Mind if I borrow your razor for the 'Before' pictures?"
Share February 05, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."
Share February 27, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I decided to recognize you for your job performance." The Boss continues, "So I named one of my pencils after you." Dilbert says, "Gosh. Is that it right there?" The Boss replies, "No. That's my good pencil."