Rebel Attack Comic Strips - Page 3

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42 Results for Rebel Attack

View 21 - 30 results for rebel attack comic strips. Discover the best "Rebel Attack" comics from Dilbert.com.

Government Wants To Kill Dilbert

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Government Wants To Kill Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cyber attack, #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #spying, #surveillance, #privacy, #hiding, #hiding out

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G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.

Winning The Nasa Contract

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Winning The Nasa Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #attack, #communication, #earth, #space, #nasa

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Boss: NASA has detected an alien probe heading for earth. We won the NASA contract to contact the aliens using a focused laser beam. Dilbert: Wouldn't that look to them like an attack? Boss: Maybe that's why do one else bid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #home, #design

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Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "The designs for my revolutionary new 'home defense system' are now complete." Dilbert looks at the plans and says, "Well, this is very detailed. But where do you think we can find this many 'flying attack porcupines?'" Dogbert says, "Just TRY to get a compliment out of that man."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #shower, #egg, #lassie, #rin tin tin, #benji, #big, #furry

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Dogbert stands on a stool and looks in the bathroom mirror. He asks, "Do you think I look more like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie? Maybe Benji?" Dilbert stands in front of the shower with a towel around his waist. Dilbert replies, "I dunno . . . Maybe a big furry egg." Dogbert says, "With that little inspiration boost, I believe I am ready to attack the new day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #discriminating, #female, #years, #compensate, #past, #injustices, #therefore, #argument, #effective

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A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #product

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Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I've hit upon a brilliant new direction for expanding our product line." Ratbert says, "I call them 'Carpet Patch Kids.' Each one is made from carpet and has its own name!" Ratbert says to the carpet doll as he walks away, "Don't feel bad, Raquel. I don't think he meant it as a personal attack."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior vice presdient, #cyrus, #virus, #infection, #managers, #old cronmies, #pointy haired pete

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer satisfaction, #shows improvement, #focus group, #attacked researchers, #two pencils, #premeditated

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "Our survey of customer satisfaction shows improvement." The Boss continues, "The focus group spontaneously attacked our researchers using number two pencils as shivs." Dilbert asks, "That's an improvement?" The Boss responds, "Last year the attack was premeditated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

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Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I want you to write a business case for lobbying our government to attack Elbonia." "In the risk analysis section, do you want me to assume that hell is real or imaginary?" "Real. But remember to discount the infinite future flows of agony to the present so it doesn't look so bad."