Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 21 - 30 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 24,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, the boss, empowered, decisions, cubicle, revenue, generating, tourist, attraction, business, sticky note, city
Transcript
Dilbert asks Wally, "Have you made any decisions since the Boss made us all 'empowered?'" Wally replies, "Just one." Wally says, "I turned my cubicle into a revenue generating tourist attraction." Wally continues, "So far, business has been slow at 'Sticky-Note City.'" A building made of Post-it Notes stands next to Wally's cubicle.
Monday January 13,
1992
Tags celebrities, Dilbert, prison, Dogbert, private, jail, business, dump, mentioned, sooner
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to go into the private jail business." Dogbert continues, "I figure it's a good way to meet celebrities." Dilbert asks, "Where's it going to be?" A man carrying a briefcase enters and says, "You call this dump a prison?" Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I probably should have mentioned this sooner."
Friday January 22,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, business, Card, romance, interpreter, dates, translate, male, female, language, date, women and men
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's my new business card. I'm a romance interpreter." Dogbert explains, "For a small fee I'll accompany you on dates and translate between male and female language." Dilbert, Dogbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "She's telling a pointless story about work. By annoying you in this way she hopes to form a closer bond."
Thursday March 11,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, business, professional, insulter, pick-up, day, charge
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start a business as a professional insulter." Dogbert continues, "For example, I would say to you, you're so ugly that you have to wear a disguise on garbage pick-up day." Dilbert replies, "That was uncalled for." Dogbert says, "Well, then no charge."
Wednesday May 05,
1993
Tags Dilbert, mannequin, store, retail, clerk, avoidance, name tag
Transcript
Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Some people might be fooled by your pretending to be a store mannequin." The man stares straight ahead and stands still. Dilbert continues, "But I saw you hide your name tag. I know you're a retail clerk who is trying to avoid helping me." Dilbert yells, "Hey! You're moving toward the 'employees only' door. Stop it! You won't get away with this!!" The clerk thinks, "Ten more feet."
Thursday May 06,
1993
Tags Dilbert, hourly, shirt, business, despise, general public, change
Transcript
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Can you help me?" The woman replies, "No, I'm afraid I can't." The clerk explains, "You see, I get paid the same low hourly wage whether you buy that shirt or not. And after years in this business I've learned to despise the general public." Dilbert waves some money at the woman and says, "Please . . . I have exact change." The clerk replies, "I have no way of knowing if that's true."
Friday May 07,
1993
Tags Dilbert, pants, twelve-inch, waist, inches, secret, retail, success, merchandise, shop, harder, retail store
Transcript
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."
Monday June 14,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, Wally, crack, writing, mission statement, strategic, business, initiatives, empowered, employees, team, paradigms, marvel, paid, donuts
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I took a crack at writing a 'mission statement' for our group." The Boss reads, "We enhance stockholder value through strategic business intiatives by empowered employees working in new team paradigms." Dilbert asks Wally, "Do you ever just marvel at the fact we get paid to do this?" The Boss asks, "Did anybody bring donuts?"
Saturday June 19,
1993
Tags Dogbert, man, woman, zombies, office, business-plan
Transcript
Dogbert says to the seminar participants, "As a zombie, you must speak in empty generalities." Dogbert continues, "Your business plan might say 'We strive to utilize a variety of techniques to accomplish a broad spectrum of results toward the bottom line.'" A man says, "Hey! My skin is getting clammy and I have the urge to call a meeting!" The man sitting next to him says, "Me too!" Dogbert says, "Good . . . Good . . ."
Tuesday August 17,
1993
Tags Dogbert, the boss, business consulting, pyschic
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert the Psychic Business Consultant. I can read minds." The Boss asks, "If you can read minds, what's my favorite color?" Dogbert replies, "Your favorite color is puce, but you are mistakenly thinking of a primary color because you don't know what puce is." The Boss says, "Whoa . . . I just got a shiver."

