Revenue For Profit Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

61 Results for Revenue For Profit

View 21 - 30 results for revenue for profit comic strips. Discover the best "Revenue For Profit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #division, #unusually profictable, #targets impossibly high, #profit target, #sabotage profits, #stop customers, #wasteful spending, #leadership training, #class, #stick out coffee mug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the Boss, and Wally are at a meeting. The Boss says: "Our division is unusually profitable this year." He turns to Dilbert: "That means our targets for next year will be set impossibly high." He turns to Wally: "Our only hope of reaching our profit target next year..." He continues: "...is to sabotage profits for the rest of this year." He explains further: "It's too late to stop customers from buying our products." He continues: "So we'll focus on increasing wasteful spending." The Boss puts his hand on Wally's shoulder and tells him: "Wally, I'm sending you to a leadership training class." After the meeting, Wally sticks out his coffee mug and asks Dilbert, "Did you ever stick out your coffee mug and just follow where it took you?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #no revenue, #three months, #fire billing, #excellent performance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, your performance is excellent but I have to downsize you." Ted asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "Our billing system is so defective that we haven't made any revenue in three months." Ted asks, "Why don't you fire the billing department?" The Boss responds, "I did... three months ago."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #clear strategy, #most profit, #do more, #less clear, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #embezzelment, #explain revenue, #layoffs, #sacrificing, #worse than you, #co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on Dilbert's desk. Dogbert says, "You can survive the next round of layoffs by sacrificing a co- worker." Dogbert continues, "You must make your boss believe that someone is a worse employee than you." Dilbert is at a meeting. He turns to Ted and says, "Ted, let me explain revenue: it's like your embezzlement, but it's directed at customers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new product revenue, #future, #slashed bidget, #development budget, #describe future, #doomed

View Transcript

Transcript

The addresses a meeting, "The future of the company depends on new product revenue." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Is that why you slashed the research and development budget?" The Boss replies, "If you're so smart, let's see you describe our future without using the word 'doomed.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #grow revenue, #new products, #calling in strategy, #eliminate waste, #miss you

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our strategy is to grow revenue from new products." Dilbert turns to The Boss and asks, "How obvious does an idea need to be before we'll stop calling it a strategy?" The Boss says, "And we plan to eliminate waste." Dilbert responds, "We'll miss you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #director of profit making, #behind greatness, #acting like king, #wants award, #making spectavle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Later w'll be joined by the director of the only division thats making a profit. Behold my greatness! Bathe ye all in the pleasure of my general proximity!! I can only stay if you give me an award.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #least popular feature, #generate revenue, #save money, #steal idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I recommend that we eliminate the least popular features because they cost us more than they generate in revenue. The Boss: I have an idea. Lets laminate the least popular features to save money. Dilbert: I suggest that we eliminate the least popular features . The Boss: I steal that idea to infinity.