Review Board Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for review board comic strips. Discover the best "Review Board" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #idiotic coworkers, #main accomplishment, #newsletter, #no raise, #performance review, #two percent raise, #uninteresting, #value of team work

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The caption says, "Performance Review." Tina the Tech Writer sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your main accomplishment was the department newsletter which was both uninteresting and unimportant. You get no raise." Tina looks shocked and says, "The newsletter was YOUR idea, and it's boring because most of the articles are contributed by my idiotic co-workers." The Boss says, "You don't seem to understand the value of teamwork." Tina replies, "I understand its value; it just cost me a two-percent raise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #review 80 million lines, #computer code, #system, #probelm, #year 2000, #all zeros and ones

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Dogbert and Ratbert stand on a desk chair in front of a computer. Dogbert says, "Ratbert, your job is to review eighty million lines of computer code in the company's systems." Dogbert explains, "You're looking for any reference to the current year. Those pieces of code will be a problem when the year is 2000." Six months later, Ratbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I'm happy to report that the date did not show up once. In fact, it was all just zeros and ones!" Dogbert thinks, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annual performance review, #past two weeks, #vacation, #two weeks, #spread motivation

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The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document. He says, "Here's you annual performance review, Tina." The Boss continues, "I focused on your performance for the past two weeks because I don't remember anything farther back." Tina screams, "I was on VACATION for the past two weeks!!!" The Boss replies, "No time to chat. I need to spread some motivation over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #perfromance review, #bell curve, #make up flaws, #does not wash hands, #after restroom

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The Boss tells Wally, "Bad news on your performance review, Wally." The Boss continues, "Everyone performed the same. But I'm required to rank the group on a bell curve." The Boss continues, "I had to make up some flaws to move you down the curve. Here's a pen. Sign it." Wally reads the review, "Employee does not wash hands after using the restroom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfromance review, #alleged misdeeds, #lower rating, #fit bell curve, #selling crack

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Wally tells the Boss, "I can't sign this performance review! It's full of alleged misdeeds that you invented to lower my rating!" The Boss replies, "Yes, but I think it reflects the sort of things you MIGHT do. I had to make all the reviews fit a bell curve." Wally screams, "I am NOT selling crack from my cubicle!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #application, #compliment, #executive review commitee, #must be approved, #compliments are entitlement

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The Boss says, "I put you in for a compliment, Alice." The Boss continues, "It's not automatic. The application must be approved by the executive review committee." Three members of the executive review committee sit at a conference table. A woman says, "I don't think so." A man replies, "We don't want them to think compliments are an entitlement."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask for one, #juggle mushrooms, #project review meeting, #trained bats, #five year budget forecast

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The Boss sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "You didn't give me your five-year budget forecast." Dilbert replies, "You didn't ask for one." The Boss says, "It was discussed at the project review meeting." Dilbert replies, "You didn't invite me to that meeting." The Boss asks, "Did you accomplish ANYTHING this week?" Dilbert answers, "I trained the bats who live in my cubicle to juggle mushrooms."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfromance review, #meeting over, #stood up, #boss, #talked about himself, #self centered, #egotistical, #unprofessional

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The Boss stands behind his desk and says to Asok who is seated in front, "...and that's your performance review. Any questions?" Asok the intern says, "You talked about yourself for the full hour. Can we talk about me?" The Boss says, "Okay. YOU don't seem to know that YOUR meeting is over when YOU see me stand up." Asok says, "ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorant employees, #controls information, #board of directors, #appointed emperor, #escape key

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Dilbert sits at his computer. A voice comes from the video conferencing camera on top of the monitor. "This is Dogbert the Network Systems Administrator, to all ignorant employees." Dogbert stands in front of a computer terminal. He says, "He who controls your information, controls you. I control your information." The Boss sits at his computer. Dogbert voice says, "The board of directors has appointed me Emperor for Life. Bring the pointy-haried boss to me." The Boss furiously presses a key on his keyboard and thinks, "Uh-oh! The 'escape' key isn't working!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #ding you, #keep informed, #peek at computer, #unread messages

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Performance review Alice is having a performance review. She says, "Alice, I had to ding you for not keeping me informed about your project." Alice says, "May I take a peek at your computer?" Alice says, "You have twelve thousand unread messages." The Boss says, "Well, it's a little late for that now."