Rumor Has It Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for rumor has it comic strips. Discover the best "Rumor Has It" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #you're ugly, #or rumor is ugly, #bad news, #ugly rumor

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Dilbert: "I'm the victim of an ugly rumor at work." Dogbert: "Are you saying that the rumor is ugly or that the rumor is that you're ugly?"<Br>"I'm saying the rumor itself is ugly."<Br>"Well, then I have more bad news for you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date co owrker, #anything has pulse, #bed judgement, #restraining orders

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"Should I date a coworker?" "You should date anything that has a pulse, bad judgement and no restraining orders against you." "But she has to be hot." "Settle for "still warm.""

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arranged amrriage, #low standards, #sister, #love, #has sister, #Family, #relationships

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"My relatives want me to have an arranged marriage." "If they find someone who's totally hot and has low standards, ask if she has a sister." "What about love?" "How can you not love that?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analyzed dna, #most qualified applicant, #willing to work, #has three ears, #snout, #life expectancy of thursday, #new guy

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Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #trousers, #emperor has no clothes, #wearing pants, #forget pants

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Boss: I'm looking for employees who aren't afraid to tell the emperor he has no clothes. Interviewee: Fine. You're not wearing pants. Boss: What? The one time I forget to wear pants...

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ambulance chaser, #cometition, #rumor, #salvage assets, #talented coworker, #new guy

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Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workplace rumours, #idiot, #false rumor, #charging for rumors

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Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends

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Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ugly rumor, #sold brains, #cannibals, #spirits to demons, #bu-wa-haha, #evil laugh

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Dogbert says, "There is an ugly rumor that I sold your brains to cannibals and your spirits to demons." Dogbert says, "BU-WA-HA-HA-HA HA!!!" Alice says, "Did you?" Dogbert says, "You seem a bit unclear on the whole bu-wa-ha-ha concept."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert for president, #terrorits, #skull, #salad bowls, #steal money, #vote, #pollution has viatamins, #lies, #fabrications, #intimidations, #Politics

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Dogbert for President "Vote for me or the terrorists will use your skulls for salad bowls." "I promise to take money from the people who don't vote for me and give it to the people who do." "Pollution has vitamins!" "I like how he makes me feel."