Safe Comic Strips - Page 3
45 Results for Safe
View 21 - 30 results for safe comic strips. Discover the best "Safe" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 10, 1997's comic on:
A policeman with a watchdog says to Wally, "I'm with the cubicle police. This is a safety violation. He points to a huge stack of papers. Wally says, "It's perfectly safe unless you tap it with a flashlight or a dog jumps on it." The stack of paper collapses on the cop and his little dog, too. Dilbert says, "This plays right into my theory that cubicles are living organisms."
Share October 19, 1997's comic on:
Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."
Share October 17, 2000's comic on:
The boss is sitting at his desk thinking, "Did Dilbert do something terrible or am I hallucinating?" The boss continues to think, "I'd better play it safe and punish him in ways that are ambiguous and untraceable." A woman stands behind Dilbert and says, "I had to change your network password to 'Die-Dilbert-Die' and I can't say why."
Share July 28, 2001's comic on:
The Boss walks up to Carol's desk. He is thoroughly disheveled; his hair is messed up, his shirt is torn and dirty. He exclaims, "I've been trapped in my office for three days! Didn't you hear me scream?" The Boss continues, shaking his hands frantically in front of Carol: "I used my staple remover to claw through the side wall!" Carol responds calmly, "Your door is a pull, not a push." The Boss, looking confused, replies, "Get me a bigger staple remover just to be safe."
Share August 20, 2002's comic on:
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, I'm sending you to an executive bodyguard class." The Boss continues, "You'll learn how to pounce on a kidnapper and sacrifice yourself to keep me safe." Carol responds, "I'm taking a class called, 'inside help.'" The Boss says, "I can't reimburse for that."
Share November 21, 1999's comic on:
A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."
Share June 10, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Employee satisfaction has doubled since last year!" The Boss says, "The credit goes to our new program of firing smart people." Alice says, "You're safe." Coworker says, "Yeff!!!"
Share August 21, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "This is Rodney. He's in charge of product safety testing." The Boss says, "Is our new product safe enough to start selling?" Rodney says, "$#%*" The Boss says, "Did that sound like 'ship' to you?"
Share November 11, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "My job is to create an environment where employees feel safe taking risks." The Boss says, "My other job is punishing employees who make any kind of mistake." The Boss says, "My point is that I'm glad I don't have your job."
Share April 06, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "I had to lay off many of your coworkers today, but your jobs are safe." Dilbert says, "Yes!" Wally says, "Wahoo!" Alice says, "ha ha ha!" Asok says, "Ha Ha Ha!" The boss says, "Cancel the workshop on survivor guilt."