Safety Rule Comic Strips - Page 3

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120 Results for Safety Rule

View 21 - 30 results for safety rule comic strips. Discover the best "Safety Rule" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #obsolete computer, #spirit crush, #cubicle, #safety hazrds, #look busy, #meaningful assignment, #wait, #binder, #desk

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The Boss introduces Matt to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is our newest employee, Matt." In a private fashion, The Boss says, "Would you mind ..." Dilbert finishes his sentence, "Crushing his spirit?" The Boss confirms, "Right." Dilbert shows Matt his cubicle. Dilbert says to Matt, "This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week." Dilbert and Matt enter the cubicle. Dilbert points to a binder and says, "It comes with an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards." Dilbert continues, "Your challenge is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment." Matt inquires, "How long will that take?" As Dilbert exits the cubicle, he comments, "I'm still waiting for mine." Matt proceeds to read the binder in front of his computer. "Safety tip 1: Don't sit near any obsolete computers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety tip, #bend knees, #bang head, #art or science

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The Boss types, "Safety Tip of the Day:" The Boss continues typing, "Always bend your knees when banging your head against a wall." The Boss thinks, "I can't remember if managing is an art or a science."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magnetic cancelation wheel, #create free energy, #rule the world, #technology

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Dilbert is fixing a contraption on the table. He says to Dogbert, "My magnetic- cancellation wheel will create unlimited free energy." Dogbert 's ears fly up and he exclaims, "Buwahaha!!! I will use this technology to rule the world!!!" Dilbert replies, "Um.. It's not yours." Dogbert asks, "What time are you going to bed?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadly safety flaw, #stock plunge, #massive layoffs, #ruined career, #dead customers, #hardest

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Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

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Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety manual, #budget for binders, #deadly binders, #injury, #cheap binders, #find, #budget

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"Wally, I want you to update the safety manual and distribute it." "I don't have much of a budget for binders, so use the cheapest ones you can find." "Hello, this is 'Deadly Binders, Inc.' How may I injure you?" "Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approval, #new safety manual, #wear protective gloves, #safety goggles, #blood, #grabbed

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Wally: I need your approval on the new safety manual. The Boss: "Gaaa!!! Sharp edges!! Gaaa!!! It grabbed my hand!!!" Wally: "Chapter One: Wear protective gloves and safety goggles at all times." The Boss: "Aaaiieee!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workplace injuries, #10 thousand percent, #new safety manuals, #website, #blood pressure rising, #technology

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Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

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Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newly designated, #fire warden, #bitter, #assignment, #regular job, #last one out, #safety, #fire, #panic, #flushing self, #exit door

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Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."