Sales + Talk= Stalk Comic Strips - Page 3
539 Results for Sales + Talk= Stalk
View 21 - 30 results for sales + talk= stalk comic strips. Discover the best "Sales + Talk= Stalk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 04, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!
Share July 27, 1994's comic on:
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
Share October 10, 1994's comic on:
Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.
Share May 01, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"
Share July 24, 1995's comic on:
Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally says, "As usual, the boss is late. What do you want to do?" Dilbert suggests, "Let's practice making small talk. It'll come in handy when we meet with marketing." Wally begins, "So, Alice, haven't we seen that outfit a LOT?" Dilbert leans back in his chair and says, "This chair is springy. Do you think they're all springy?"
Share September 20, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk with a telephone in his hand. A voice on the phone says, "Press 'One' for sales. Press 'Two' in a hopeless effort to get technical support." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone continues, "Press 'One' for answers to questions you don't have. Press 'Two' if you're gullible and optimistic." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone says, "Press 'Two' if you're willing to buy something just so you can talk to a human being . . ." Dilbert puts the phone on the desk and raises a mallet to strike it.
Share December 05, 1995's comic on:
Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."
Share December 18, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new slogan is 'Everybody is in sales.'" The Boss continues, "Imagine if all our employees convinced their friends to buy our product, eventually . . ." Alice asks, "We'd have no friends?" Wally asks Dilbert, "What's this 'friend' thing I keep hearing about?"
Share August 20, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings. Dilbert opens the door and a bear says, "Hi. I'm the bear skin rug you ordered by mail." The bear enters the house and says, "I'm a kit. You just have to kill me, rip my guts out and leave me to dry." Dilbert looks shocked. Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Egad! I couldn't possibly do that. Please . . . Just go." The bear says, "You'll receive a full refund, of course." Dilbert says, "No, no! Please keep it." The bear, who is really a man in a bear suit, walks into the rug store. A man at a desk asks, "How were sales today?" The man in the suit replies, "Great! Sold myself seven times."
Share December 03, 1989's comic on:
A man stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Dilbert, the Boss would like to talk to you." Dilbert enters the Boss's office and asks, "You wanted me?" The Boss says, "Ah, Dilbert, come in." The Boss says, "I'm taking two weeks of vacation and I need competent leadership while I'm gone." Dilbert thinks, "At last he's giving me an assignment with responsibility." The Boss says, "That's why I got this talking sock monkey. Pull the string twice a day and do what he says."