Seeking Advice Comic Strips - Page 3
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196 Results for Seeking Advice
View 21 - 30 results for seeking advice comic strips. Discover the best "Seeking Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 12,
1999
Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday December 23,
1999
Tags #free medical advice, #some exercose, #lazy hog, #wait for ipo
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting at his computer and Dilbert stands behind him. Dogbert says: "I'm creating a web site of free medical advice." Dogbert's hears stand up as he screams: "Get some exercise, you lazy hog!!" Dilbert asks Dogbert: "Is that it?" Dogbert answers: "Nothing to do now but wait for the IPO."
Wednesday August 30,
2000
Tags #tom peters advice, #become own brand, #get me some
Transcript
Wally says to Alice while pouring himself a cup of coffee, "I'm going to follow Tom Peters' advice and become my own brand." Alice replies, "The phrase you're least likely to hear is, 'I gotta get me some of that." Wally walks away thinking, "Day one: Not so good."
Saturday January 27,
2001
Tags #discount brokerage, #free investment, #money, #paid for advice
Transcript
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."
Monday March 26,
2001
Tags #job interview, #Advice, #juggling, #items, #confident, #desk items
Transcript
Dilbert asks Catbert, "Do you have any advice for my job interview?" Catbert says to Dilbert, "Try juggling the items on his desk. It will make you seem confident." The interviewer has been knocked senseless in his desk chair. Dilbert, holding various desk items in his hands, says, "Sorry."
Saturday August 11,
2001
Tags #cure for carpel tunnel, #eat six bananas, #hands of teenager, #data, #medical advice, #huge pimple
Transcript
Asok is sitting at his desk, noticeably still in pain. The Boss says, "The cure for carpal tunnel is to eat six bananas a day." The Boss shakes his hand and continues, "That's what I do and I have the hands of a teenager." Asok turns around and replies, "Do you have any data to support your medical advice?" The Boss responds, "Does a huge pimple count?"
Friday August 24,
2001
Tags #dating beautiful woman, #Advice, #garbageman, #exciting, #mysterious, #delightful, #like fresh garbage, #compost
Transcript
Dilbert is handing his trash to The Garbageman. Dilbert says, "I'm dating a beautiful woman. Do you have any advice?" The Garbageman stuffs the trash into the can and responds, "A beautiful woman is like a heap of fresh garbag: exciting, mysterious, and delightful." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any advice that doesn't compare my girlfriend to garbage?" The Garbageman replies, "How about compost?"
Wednesday September 19,
2001
Tags #dogcart consults, #create a strategy, #increase market share, #change, #valuable advice
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."
Friday November 22,
2002
Tags #turned into sheep, #wear as sweater, #advice not ridicule, #pushy sheep, #bright side, #dilberts mother
Transcript
Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "...And the next thing I knew, I'd been turned into a sheep." Dilbert's mom replies, "On the bright side, I won't need to remind you to wear a sweater." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for advice, not ridicule." Dilbert's mom replies, "No one likes a pushy sheep."
Tuesday January 14,
2003
Tags #bad advice, #burrowing in torso, #consultick, #implement
Transcript
The Consultick. The Boss: "He'll do more than give us bad advice.." "He'll also make sure we can't implement it without him." The consultick leans over and sticks his hair into The Boss's stomach. The Boss exclaims, "Ha ha! How he's burrowing into my torso, and I've convinced myself it's okay."