Sell Ark Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

110 Results for Sell Ark

View 21 - 30 results for sell ark comic strips. Discover the best "Sell Ark" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy island nation, #sell a kit, #conquermoppress, #indigent people, #buy rhode island, #evil tyrant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert reads a magazine entiteled "Islands", dilbert drinks coffee. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "did you know you can but your own island nation?" Dogbert says, "They even sell a kit that helps you conquer and oppress the indigent people!" Dogbert wags his tail and says on the phone, "I'd liike to buy Rhode Island... and one "evil tyrant" conquest kit." Person on the phone says, "Would you like a flag with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo selling stock, #portfolio, #routine diversification, #sell, #sudden panic, #employees, #boss, #ceo, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Studying company financial information at his terminal, Dilbert exclaims: "Yikes! Our CEO is selling his stock!" At the Boss's office, the Boss reassures Dilbert: "Don't worry. It's routine diversification of his portfolio." Dilbert says: "Oh...I guess that's okay." Meanwhile the Boss stares at his computer screen and furiously works the keyboard as he thinks to himself: "Sell, sell, sell."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #most evil way, #database, #customer information, #sell mailing list, #spam, #balckmail, #data bse, #clumping

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "What's the most evil way to use our database of customer information? The Boss says, "Should we sell our mailing lists, spam without mercy, or just blackmail customers?" Catbert says, "Um... Do you have me in that database?" The Boss says, "We know all about your clumping problems."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exactly man, #sell ten million, #idea won't work, #idea makes better

View Transcript

Transcript

THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Randy, looking at a piece of paper, says to Dilbert, "Your idea won't work. No one would buy this kind of product." Dilbert says, "We already sell ten million of these per year. My idea just makes them better." Randy exclaims, "Exactly!!" and Dilbert thinks, "?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market expert, #buy stock, #sell house, #track record, #one week chart, #buy buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #mud delivery business, #general economic slowdown, #dot com meltdown, #sell mud, #live in mud, #call fudge

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert is wading through water towards Elbonians. Dilbert says, "Can anyone tell me why your mud delivery business is failing? Anyone?" One Elbonian raises his hand and says, "Is it because of the general economic slow down?" Another adds, "Dot-com meltdown?" Dilbert says, "And maybe because you sell mud to people who live in mud?" An Elbonian replies, "What if we call it fudge?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #end war, #sell it, #sign for a dollar, #petition to end war

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is home reading a newspaper. Ratbert says, "I'm starting a petition to end war. Do you want in on this?" Dilbert asks, "Who are you going to give it to?" Ratbert responds, "Say what?" Ratbert says, "I was hoping to sell it." Dilbert responds, "I'll sign it for a dollar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales training, #sell anything, #roadkill, #thousand dollars, #class, #got hat, #seminar, #prop

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Sales Training. A speaker says, "A trained salesperson can sell anything to anyone." The speaker continues, "I will prove it by selling this roadkill to one of you for a thousand dollars." Dilbert returns home with roadkill on his head. Dogbert asks, "Um.. How was your class?" Dilbert responds, "I got a hat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales training, #sell to customer, #dare to be great, #prove worthiness, #beg

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Sales Training. The speaker says, "Never sell to your customer. Make your customer sell to you." The speaker continues, "Our products are only for those who dare to be great! Make the customer explain why he is worthy." Dilbert is meeting with a customer. Dilbert says, "You heard me, Goober. Now beg for our product."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man without substance, #use buzzwords, #sell solutions, #not products

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, M.T. says, "Hi, I'm M.T. Suit. I'm a man without substance." Alice looks at him nervously. M.T. continues, "I compensate by using buzzwords and attending meetings." M.T. continues, "We need to sell solutions, not products!" The Boss thinks, "I like his style."