Shut Up Freak Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

99 Results for Shut Up Freak

View 21 - 30 results for shut up freak comic strips. Discover the best "Shut Up Freak" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carbicle, #50%car, #50% cubicle, #100% awesome, #human efficiency, #expression, #engineer, #something perfect, #genius, #shut up, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #south pole, #sending away, #control freak, #manipulating, #sending dilbert, #cold

View Transcript

Transcript

Noriko says to Dilbert, "I signed you up for a trip to the South Pole." Dilbert asks Noriko, "Um... why?" Noriko says to Dilbert, "You'll love it. You leave tomorrow." Dilbert says forcefully to Noriko, "I am not going to the South Pole!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Oh, I get it; You're a control freak." Dilbert yells, "GAAA! Can't you see that it's you who is trying to control me?!! Noriko says to Dilbert, "All I see is you trying to manipulate me into not sending you to the South Pole." Dilbert, dressed in a fur-trimmed parka and carrying a suitcase, says to Catbert, "It seemed easier."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #hypocrisy, #managers & supervisors, #shut out, #meetings, #unsolvable, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, I can't promote you because the other managers don't know you. Asok: That's because you shut me out of meetings and take credit for my work. Boss: That sounds unsolvable.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #syoe, #shut down, #quit, #drown it

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Okay, Skype. Let's see if I can figure out how to shut you down. Close! Quit! Sign out! Minimize! Quit! Yes! Close! Quit! Die! Die! Die! Dilbert: Did you close Skype. Alice: Almost. I'm heading to the ocean to drown it.

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying, #tardiness, #traffic, #vacuum, #freak accident, #vacuuming naked, #bad traffic

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #suspicion, #features for product, #overstaffed, #spare time, #job description, #healthy raise, #highest performance rating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #secretaries (office), #internet & world wide web, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."