Skill Of Engineers Comic Strips - Page 3
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230 Results for Skill Of Engineers
View 21 - 30 results for skill of engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Skill Of Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 09,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #speech, #society, #engineers, #imagining, #audience, #naked, #pictured, #bed, #mirror
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I have to give a speech to the 'Society of Engineers' today . . . I'm a bit nervous." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you can relax by imagining the audience is naked." Dogbert's ears stand straight up and he says, "Whoa! Cancel that. I just pictured four hundred naked engineers." Dilbert's tie crumples and he says, "Too late."
Monday May 10,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #susan, #department, #budget, #together, #branded, #life, #engineers, #spit, #guard, #raincoat
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to help Susan put the department budget together." Dilbert's tie stands up and he says, "Budget?!" Dilbert begs, "No, please! I'll be branded for life. The other engineers will spit on me." The Boss thinks, "Darn, his guard is up." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "I'll have to wear a raincoat to work!"
Wednesday May 12,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #engineers, #shun, #assigned, #budget, #pounce, #moment, #hypothetical, #electricity, #alice, #Wally
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "The other engineers shun me because I'm assigned to work on the budget." Wally covers his eyes as he walks by Dilbert and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "They know I could pounce any moment and asks inane hypothetical budget questions." A man covers his eyes and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert asks a woman, "What if you only had half as much electricity next year?" The woman covers her eyes and says, "Too late. I shunned you."
Saturday May 29,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #school, #system, #failure, #park bench, #preparing, #scientist, #engineers, #economy, #instead, #janitors, #maids
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a woman and a little boy. The woman says, "Our school system is a complete failure, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why's that?" The woman replies, "The schools should be preparing these kids to be scientists and engineers. That's the only way our economy will prosper." The woman continues, "Instead, we'll be a nation of maids and janitors." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but think how clean it will be."
Wednesday February 09,
1994
Tags #engineers, #good tatse, #home to change, #shut up wally, #casual dress
Transcript
The Boss: I realize that casual dress day isn't easy for you engineers.... The boss; But you've exceeded the bounds of good taste. Ive got to send you home to change. Dilbert: Shut up wally. wally: I heard they were back! I swear!
Friday March 11,
1994
Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck
Transcript
Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"
Wednesday March 30,
1994
Tags #use tail, #operate mouse, #engineers, #no tail, #rocky, #new programmer
Transcript
Dilbert: Zimbu, you're not supposed to use your tail to operate the mouse. If tails were a natural advantage for engineers then evolution would provide usual with tails! The Boss: Dilbert, I don't believe you've met Rocky, out new C programmer.
Friday April 15,
1994
Tags #delay, #beta trial, #exploding, #engineers, #pessimists, #foucs, #positive aspects, #trial, #hassle, #non disclosure, #agreements
Transcript
"You've got to delay the beta trial with customers until we figure out why it keeps exploding!" "You engineers are such pessimists. Just once, try to focus on the positive aspects of the trial!" "We won't need to hassle with 'non-disclosure agreements'."
Thursday June 23,
1994
Tags #called to brag, #dogbert headhunting service, #no skill, #pays 100k, #dogbert job
Transcript
"This is Dogbert's Headhunting Service." "I've got a job that pays a hundred thousand per year and requires no skill whatsoever." "No, I didn't say it's available. I called to brag about my own job."
Monday August 22,
1994
Tags #engineers, #filberts job security, #menacing statements, #one option, #reducing headcount, #works hard, #finish project
Transcript
Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.