Slightly Cynical Comic Strips - Page 3

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26 Results for Slightly Cynical

View 21 - 26 results for slightly cynical comic strips. Discover the best "Slightly Cynical" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Alice, we're doing some construction and I have to move you to a slightly larger cubicle." "Muwhahaha! I will use the power of my slightly larger cubicle to rule my coworkers with an iron fist!" "Get out of my way, you worthless microcuber!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobiles (cars), #restoring old cars, #less useful, #garbage, #cars

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Coworker: My hobby is restoring old cars. Dilbert: That strikes me as slightly less useful than Wally's hobby of doing absolutely nothing. Wally: Do you restore other kinds of garbage or just cars?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Welcome to Dogbert's deeply discounted motivational speakers bureau." "I need a slightly motivational speaker and I don't have much budget." "I want to inspire my employees to work harder, without motivating them to seek better jobs." "I recommend Robbie, the frightening hobo." "Does he talk about his difficult journey from the dumpster to success?" "We're not sure. He mumbles." "But no one has ever become an entrepreneur after hearing him speak." mumble mumble mumble "Must...keep...job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #reports, #cycnical, #accurate worldview, #upset people, #angry guy, #confident in worldview

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Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being cynical. Dilbert: It's called an accurate worldview. You should try it sometime. Boss: If it's accurate, why are people upset? Dilbert: Said the angry guy to the one who isn't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coaching, #deception, #laziness, #mentor, #mentoring, #strategy, #work ethic, #taper, #key to winning, #new job, #long hours, #good first impression, #taker off, #working smarter

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Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

Arresting The Rich

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Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

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Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.