Small Group Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

241 Results for Small Group

View 21 - 30 results for small group comic strips. Discover the best "Small Group" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #told stan, #marketing, #dna, #gullibility, #reverse process, #entire reality, #unverified, #anecdotes, #rumour, #alleged focus group, #becoming weasel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I jokingly told Stan in marketing that I reprogrammed his DNA. He's so gullible that he's actually changing!" Dogbert suggests, "You must use his gullibility to reverse the process. Remember, his entire reality is shaped by unverified customer anecdotes." Dilbert tells Stan, "I heard a rumor of a story of an alleged focus group where a quote taken out of context indicates you're not becoming a weasel." Stan says, "I'm not?! Yipeee!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #boss late, #small talk, #meet with marketing, #outfir, #chair is springy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally says, "As usual, the boss is late. What do you want to do?" Dilbert suggests, "Let's practice making small talk. It'll come in handy when we meet with marketing." Wally begins, "So, Alice, haven't we seen that outfit a LOT?" Dilbert leans back in his chair and says, "This chair is springy. Do you think they're all springy?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #government, #speech, #ratbert, #country, #freedom, #checklist, #advocate, #overthrowing, #obscene, #generalize, #disadvantaged, #group, #teach, #children, #practical, #lawyer, #refer, #hearing, #distance, #god, #bless, #clear

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert tells Dogbert, "The great thing about this country is that we have freedom of speech!" Ratbert asks, "Is it okay to say that?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Let's see if it's on the free speech checklist . . ." Dogbert reads a document and says, "Okay, you didn't advocate overthrowing the government . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were not obscene . . . You did not generalize about a disadvantaged group . . . You did not teach children anything useful or practical . . ." Dogbert continues, "You didn't refer to anybody who can afford a lawyer to sue us . . ." Dogbert continues, "And there's nobody within hearing distance who can harm you financially . . . You're clear." Ratbert says, "God bless this country!" Dogbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #good, #bad, #news, #companies, #compete, #small, #nimble, #rate, #smallest, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've got good news and bad news." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that huge companies like us can't compete against small, nimble companies. The good news is that at this rate WE'LL be the smallest company around." Dilbert, Alice and Ted shout, "We're number one! Yes!!" The Boss thinks, "What am I doing wrong here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #small fonts, #save disk space, #semi colons, #colons, #was fun, #new ideas, #next staff meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert listens as Asok says to the Boss, "My idea is that everyone should be required to use small fonts. That way we'll save disk space." Asok continues, "And I've noticed that many people use entire colons in situations where a semicolon would do just fine." As they walk away, Asok says to Dilbert, "You're right, that was fun." Dilbert replies, "The real fun is when he describes his new ideas at the next staff meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #technology allaince, #small silicon startup, #corporate culture, #different, #pierced brain, #mister conservative

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You'll head our technology alliance with a small Silicon Valley start-up." The Boss continues, "Their corporate culture is a bit different from ours. Try to be flexible." Dilbert and a man with a goatee and a ring through his head sit at a conference table. Dilbert opens his briefcase and says, "I've never seen a pierced brain before." The man puts his bare feet on the table and says, "I think I'll call you 'Mister Conservative.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #strategic alliance, #approve projects, #small company, #seat of pants, #flexible, #not wearing pants

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a man with a goatee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a thick binder and says, "These are the procedures my company uses to approve projects." Dilbert says, "I guess a small company such as yours is used to flying by the seat of the pants." The man replies, "Not necessarily." Dilbert asks, "You mean you're flexible?" The man shows Dilbert his bare foot and leg and replies, "I mean I'm not wearing pants."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #meeting, #obvious generalities, #revenue for profit, #run by artits, #small businesses, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on the couch reading. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a consultant in the field of obvious generalities." Dogbert explains, "I'll work for small businesses that are run by artists. They'll think I'm brilliant, which I am." Dogbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. The man, who has a goatee, says, "Whoa! Are you saying we need REVENUE to make profit??" The woman says, "Ouch! I've got a headache on one side."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #changing, #job titles, #non technical, #sec group, #second class citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research co>, #focus group, #carefully screened, #loser choices, #opposite, #what recommended, #skipped jury duty, #liver transplant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"