Speak Frankly Comic Strips - Page 3
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117 Results for Speak Frankly
View 21 - 30 results for speak frankly comic strips. Discover the best "Speak Frankly" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 12,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #fascinating, #twitter, #keep boss happy
Transcript
Wally: You fascinate me. I think I speak for all of your followers on Twitter when I say we want more, more, more. Dilbert: You don't use Twitter. Wally: I just used it to keep my boss busy.
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Sunday September 18,
2011
Tags #conversation, #discussion, #hijack conversations of subordinates, #imperious interuptus, #load and testing
Transcript
Dilbert: ... then we can do the load testing and... Boss: I'm invoking the right of imperious interruptus. In layman's terms, it is the right of all bosses to hijack the conversations of subordinates. I will now turn my back to you and speak with Alice as if you don't exist. Do not leave. Do not chime in, just awkwardly stand there. CEO: Imperious interruptus! Behold my power to make two underlings stand awkwardly while I hijack this conversation! Have you heard my speech about how we're not level conscious at this company?
Sunday January 22,
2012
Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #tech support, #digital modem, #wiring, #problem, #plumbing, #supervisor
Transcript
Dogbert: This is Dogbert's tech support. How many I abuse you? Boss: I think my digital modem is broken. Dogbert: Please hold while I pretend to be testing it. Okay, it looks fine from here. The problem must be in your wiring. You'll have to rip out all of the wiring in your entire house to locate the problem. Boss: Are you sure? Because the lights on the modem aren't even on. Dogbert: That means you have moisture on your internal wiring. You'll also need to replace all of your plumbing and get a new roof. Boss: May I speak with your supervisor? Dogbert: Sure. But he sounds exactly like me.
Sunday March 11,
2012
Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype
Transcript
Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.
Friday September 29,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #engineer, #conservative, #rebel, #potato salad
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . But I wasn't always a conservative engineer-type." Dilbert continues, "I was quite the little rebel when I was a kid." The caption says, "Flashback." A young Dilbert sits at the table thinking, "Potato salad again? I've GOT to speak out on this issue."
Friday December 01,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dating, #love, #unattractive, #blob, #friends
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a woman's desk. The woman says, "Well . . . I would date you . . ." The woman continues, "But frankly I think of you as a boring and unattractive blob of organic matter . . ." The woman concludes, "So let's just be friends."
Thursday March 29,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #spitballs, #Girls, #beg, #dates, #satisfying, #woman, #love
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "When I was a kid I threw spitballs at girls to show I liked them." Dilbert continues, "Now I just grovel and beg for dates." Dilbert concludes, "Frankly, the old way was more satisfying."
Monday July 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #susceptible, #peer, #pressure, #brewski, #rats, #beer, #hurting, #animals, #doctor
Transcript
A scientist points to a cage and says, "Here we have a lab rat, specially bred to be susceptible to peer pressure." The scientist holds out a beer and asks the rat, "How about a brewski?" The rat replies, "I don't drink." The scientist says, "All the cool rats drink beer." The rat replies, "Okay." The professor says, "Of course, there's more to science than just hurting animals, but frankly it's the part I like best." The rat lies on his back drinking the beer.
Friday August 31,
1990
Tags #therapy, #unethical, #Dilbert, #biological clock, #ugly, #one, #ticking, #away
Transcript
Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist says, "Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your little problems . . ." The psychologist says, "I hate my job . . . I haven't had a decent date in a year . . . My biological clock is ticking away . . ." Dilbert asks, "Would it be unethical to date one of your patients?" The doctor replies, "Yes, especially an ugly one."
Tuesday July 30,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #pop, #psychologist, #lecture, #video, #makeover, #pop culture, #madonna
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."