Staus Update Comic Strips - Page 3

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57 Results for Staus Update

View 21 - 30 results for staus update comic strips. Discover the best "Staus Update" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #team leader, #perks, #staus, #special agent, #like wally but thicker, #cubicle walls

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert asks, "As team leader, I think I should get some perks so people know my status." The Boss replies, "I'll have your cubicle walls sprayed with a special thickening agent. It might look the same, but trust me, people will know how thick you are." Dilbert peers over his cubicle wall into Wally's cubicle and says, "I'm just like you, Wally, but thicker." Wally says, "I've noticed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #staus report, #light, #email, #flame war, #technical surperiority, #simian ancestry, #obligation, #victims of hormones

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Both of them look like they have been burned in a fire. Dilbert says, "My status report is a bit light this week because I'm having an e-mail flame war with Wally." Dilbert continues angrily, "Wally refuses to admit my technical superiority or his simian ancestry. It is my obligation to set him straight." Wally shakes his fist at Dilbert and shouts, "NEVER!!" Dilbert says, "I'm thinking this somehow elevates my rank in the herd and improves my mating possibilities." Wally says, "We're victims of hormones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options

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Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #posted for success, #huge earnings, #market share, #agenda, #raises difficult year, #united way, #two agenda items, #oopsie

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The Boss, Carol, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're poised for success. We expect huge earnings and increased market share!" Looking at a document, the Boss says, "Next on the agenda . . . There will be no raises because it will be a difficult year . . ." The Boss says, "Carol, I thought I told you to put the 'United Way' update between those two agenda items." Carol says, "Oopsie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #using binders, #illeagl, #size of cubicle, #staus, #raise

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Dilbert hums as he stacks binders outside the door of his cubicle. Wally says, "It looks like somebody is using binders to illegally increase the size of his cubicle." Wally says angrily, "You think your status will increase with your cubicle size, don't you! Well, it won't work!" The Boss walks over, hands Dilbert a check and says, "Here's a raise. I don't know why." A woman whispers to Wally, "Pssst. Is he seeing anybody?" Wally growls, "RRRR."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #sadistic plot, #different objectives, #staus report, #staple himself

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Catbert peers over the wall of Wally's cubicle and says, "Guess what, Wally." Wally says, "What sadistic plot has HR come up with now, Catbert?" Catbert shows Wally an org chart and says, "We're giving you a real boss plus a 'dotted line' to another boss who has different objectives." Catbert continues, "The status reports alone will take forty hours a week." Wally opens a stapler and says, "I'm gonna staple myself to death."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #god of thunder, #thor, #athpirin, #god of velcro, #god of mayonaise, #greek, #roman, #mythology

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Dogbert sits on the hassock humming to himself. A man wearing a Viking helmet approaches Dogbert and says, "Greetings, Dogbert, I am the God of Thunder." Dogbert looks startled and says, "Yip!" The man repeats, "I am Thor!!" Dogbert says, "Take some athpirin." Thor reads a list and says, "We're looking for some new Norse gods to update our image. Your name came up." Thor continues, "It's the same way I got started. I worked my way up from God of Static Cling." Dogbert reads the list and says, "Hmm . . . 'God of Velcro' looks interesting." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock with a towel wrapped around him. Dogbert says, "Don't laugh. I put your name in for God of Mayonnaise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #eighteen hour days, #add person, #effoerts, #night shift manager, #behind schedule, #staus reprts, #rendered in 3d

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The Boss appears in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've been working eighteen hours a day. I realized I must add a person to the effort." The Boss continues, "So I hired a night shift manager. After I go home at five o'clock he'll take over and ask why you're behind schedule." The night shift manager says to Alice, "I like my status reports rendered in 3-D, but don't spend a lot of time on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #pond scum, #nice to know, #lower staus, #brochures, #vendor, #hurts

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Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Dilbert says, "Although we are nothing but pond scum in this company . . ." Dilbert continues as they walk into a conference room, "It's nice to know we can still find someone of lower status to torment." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table with a vendor. Dilbert says, "You call these brochures? How can I even consider buying products from a 'ven-duh' such as you?" Wally reaches for the salesperson's ear and says, "Tell me if this hurts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #wally report, #weekly stats upadte, #industry average, #income, #supply cabinet unlocked

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "It's time now for the Wally Report, a weekly status update." Wally continues, "My income is 80 percent of industry average, enthusiasm is at 63 percent of capacity and my ego shield is holding at 15 percent." Dilbert says, "Your enthusiasm is up from last week." Wally says, "Someone left the supply cabinet unlocked!"