Stock Plunged Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for stock plunged comic strips. Discover the best "Stock Plunged" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #Dogbert, #the boss, #company president, #stock, #business trip

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Dogbert sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "What?? The presidents of other companies make way more money than I do!!" Dogbert continues, "I'd better make some short-sighted cuts. That should raise our stock price and make my stock options worth millions." The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, ". . . All business trips are one-way from now on . . . And you're all required to take a trip this afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #iowa, #business strategy, #computer

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Dogbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I saved the company a fortune by sending the headquarters staff on one-way business trips." Dogbert continues as he types, "They haven't wasted money on any stupid projects all day . . . Now I can leak my strategy to the media and exercise my stock options at the uptick." The caption says, "Somewhere in Iowa." Dilbert stands in front of a farm and a dog growls at him. Dilbert says to a woman who is pointing a rifle at him, "Uh . . . I'm here for a meeting." The woman asks, "Did anybody see you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

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CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

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The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #venture capitalist, #technical expertise, #business stuff, #special, #decotrative, #non equity stock, #common stock, #avoid tension, #partners experince

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Dogbert sits at a conference table with a businessman. Dogbert says, "You'll use your technical expertise and I'll do the business stuff. Sign here." As the businessman signs the contract Dogbert says, "Since you're the inventor of the technology, you'll get 100% of the special decorative non-equity stock. I'll settle for all the common stock." The businessman says, "I hope we can avoid the tension that some partners experience." Dogbert says angrily, "Give me my pen, you miscreant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options

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Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #economic success, #stock price, #fire batch, #incompetence, #lying customers

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The Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You employees are the key to our economic success." The Boss explains, "Anytime we need a little stock-price boost, we just fire another batch of you. It's like printing money!" The Boss holds up a chart and says, "In fact, 'incompetence' has become our most profitable product." Alice says, "Wow. It beat out 'lying to customers.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #abandon startegy, #making good products, #ours strategy mergers, #business spin offs, #random reorgozations, #accelerate, #stock price, #fruitless partnerships

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The Boss reads a document and tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "The company announced that we will 'abandon our strategy of making good products . . .'" The Boss continues, "From now on we'll 'pursue a desperate strategy of mergers, business spin-offs, fruitless partnerships and random reorganizations.'" The Boss reads, "And we'll accelerate our program of paying the good employees to leave." Dilbert asks Wally, "Stock price?" Wally looks at his monitor and replies, "Up three points."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dying comapny, #fully understand, #stock rose, #boneheaded, #competitive edge

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The Boss tells Dilbert and Wally, "In today's news, our company has decided to buy another dying company in a business we don't fully understand." The Boss continues, "Our stock rose five points on the announcement." Wally asks Dilbert, "Why does our stock go up every time we do something boneheaded?" Dilbert replies, "I like to think of it as our competitive advantage."