Stop Talking Comic Strips - Page 3

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576 Results for Stop Talking

View 21 - 30 results for stop talking comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #computer screen, #fuzzy, #fiddling, #stop working, #flu season, #clean screen, #handkerchief

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The Boss calls to Dilbert as he stands in the doorway of his office. "Thanks to you, my computer screen is all fuzzy now!" Dilbert continues walking, wondering to himself what the Boss was talking about. The Boss is irritated with Dilbert and with both arms raised he says, "You're always fiddling with something that makes something else stop working." Dilbert replies, "Don't clean your screen with your handkerchief during flu season." The Boss answers with both hands on his hips, "Stop changing the subject."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #software is worn, #typing too hard, #decaf, #paint walls, #stop gym, #holistic tec support, #read more

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Headline: Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert is talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Your software is worn out. You must be typing too hard." Dogbert continues, "Switch to decaf, paint your walls pink and stop going to the gym." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and says, "I've never heard of holistic tech support." Dogbert replies, "Maybe you should read more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking

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Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

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Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #internet & world wide web, #black hat, #websites ranking, #search engine, #unethical, #near certainty, #loserish, #talking

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Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #blazers, #buying work clothes, #female, #men's clothing, #pantsuit talking, #unisex store, #unisex suit, #women suits

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Wally: I'm buying my work clothes at the unisex suit store. Dilbert: There's no such thing a unisex suit store. Wally: You always have to be right. Dilbert: That's the pantsuit talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron, #relationships

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Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #working, #reference, #inadequate, #talking, #pages

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Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #geraldo, #cult, #television, #live television, #Dogbert, #talking

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Geraldo Rivera holds a microphone and says, "Today on 'Geraldo' our entire show is about a dog who started his own cult!" Dogbert says into the microphone, "Actually, Geraldo, I don't know what you're talking about." Geraldo faces the camera and smiles. Dogbert says, "I love live television."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #hardware, #store, #invisible force, #therapy, #psychiatrist, #selfish, #feelings, #talking

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Dilbert lies on a couch and explains to a therapist, ". . . Whenever I'm near a hardware store I feel an invisible force drawing me inside . . ." The psychologist says, "You've been talking about yourself since you got here. We never talk about ME and MY feelings. I hurt too, you know." Dilbert says, "I'm paying $75 an hour . . ." The psychiatrist says, "Good Lord, and you think that makes it okay to be selfish??"