Strangers Underpants Comic Strips - Page 3
30 Results for Strangers Underpants
View 21 - 30 results for strangers underpants comic strips. Discover the best "Strangers Underpants" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 19, 2009's comic on:
Mordac, the preventer of information service Mordac says ,"Cloud computing is no good because strangers would have access to our data." Dilbert says, "I trust encryption way more than I trust spock-eared sociopaths." Dilbert says, "When you mention a person's ears, he won't listen to the rest of your argument."
Share November 26, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Carol, I want you to feel more emotionally invested in the vision and mission of the company." Carol says, "My only emotion is anger. You can have as much of it as you want." The boss says, "Maybe I can inspire you with my leadership." Carol says, "I feel like I'm wearing concrete underpants."
Share August 17, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."
Share April 29, 2007's comic on:
Boss: We're going to take a page from the automaker's playbooks. Automakers prove their design skills by creating concept cars that will never go into production. Then they prove their management skills by producing cars that are less attractive than corrective underpants. Tomorrow we're holding a press conference to show the world our own concept product. Our concept product can stop global warming and wax your back at the same time. Man: Can it actually do those things? Boss: Why do you care? Man: So...actually it's just a huge waste of our time. Boss: You have a mighty low opinion of news.
Share September 03, 2013's comic on:
Share July 16, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?
Share October 25, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Dilbert, meet our new graphic designer. Dilbert: If I had your job, I would secretly sub it out to strangers on the Internet and pay them 5% of my salary while I did nothing all day. Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were already there.
Share June 21, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.
Share May 08, 2016's comic on:
Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.
Share October 02, 2016's comic on:
Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.