Strategic Thinker Comic Strips - Page 3

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41 Results for Strategic Thinker

View 21 - 30 results for strategic thinker comic strips. Discover the best "Strategic Thinker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1999's comic on:

Tags #strategic plan, #secret, #trust, #soabotage, #warranty, #chair

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Dilbert is in the boss' office. The boss says, "Make your report consistent with our strategic plan." Dilbert says, "What's out strategic plan?" The boss says, "It's a secret." Dilbert says, "Are you saying you don't trust me?" The boss says, "I don't think it's a coincidence that most employee sabotage is done by employees." Dilbert says, "How can I do my report if I don't know the strategy?! The boss says, "Okay, okay. I'll let you glance at it." The boss pulls a piece of paper out of his desk. The boss barely lets Dilbert see the paper. The boss says, "Time's up! That's long enough!" Dilbert says, "That's the warranty for your chair." The boss says, "Really? I've been managing to this for years."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2007's comic on:

Tags #strategic asset, #market share, #fire yourself, #accountabilty

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The Boss: Human resources is a company's most important strategic asset. "That means it's your fault we're losing market share. Maybe you should fire yourself." "Strategic assets don't like accountability."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2008's comic on:

Tags #strategic alternatives, #company for sale, #new corporate overlords, #employment vandalism

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The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2008's comic on:

Tags #creature, #employee, #licks face, #meeting, #strategic alliance, #tongue, #business

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The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2007's comic on:

Tags #disciuss company politics, #career monefield, #project, #new strategic direction, #upcoming reorganization, #plan to criticize, #something good happens

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The Boss: "I'm not allowed to discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." The boss: "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2014's comic on:

Tags #big business, #competition (psychology), #bad ads, #increase sales, #competitors, #running ads, #increases ads, #strategic incompetence, #luck

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Coworker: Our ads are so bad that they increase sales for our competitors. Boss: Try running ads for our competitors and see if it increases our sales. Dilbert: Strategic incompetence? Boss: I didn't get this far by luck!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2011's comic on:

Tags #prosperity, #competition (psychology)

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The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1996's comic on:

Tags #strategic alliance, #approve projects, #small company, #seat of pants, #flexible, #not wearing pants

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Dilbert and a man with a goatee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a thick binder and says, "These are the procedures my company uses to approve projects." Dilbert says, "I guess a small company such as yours is used to flying by the seat of the pants." The man replies, "Not necessarily." Dilbert asks, "You mean you're flexible?" The man shows Dilbert his bare foot and leg and replies, "I mean I'm not wearing pants."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1995's comic on:

Tags #boss evil, #entity from another dimension, #synergies, #win win solution, #delight every customer, #new internet access, #tour of cubicles

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Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist asks, "When did you start believing that your boss was an evil entity from another dimension?" Dilbert imagines the Boss telling him, "I'd like to sit in on your customer meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss, Dilbert and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let me share the high level strategic view." Dilbert thinks, "Here we go." The Boss spreads his arms and says, "Life began in the primordial stew literally hundreds of years ago . . ." The Boss continues, "But we are the only company who ever found synergies in our win-win solutions!" The caption says, "Two hours later." The Boss says, "And we won't sop until we delight every customer!" The woman looks shocked and Dilbert covers his eyes. The customer says, "I'd be delighted if you just told me about your new Internet access product." The Boss replies, "I cancelled the funding yesterday." The Boss stands up and says, "Who's up for a tour of our cubicles?" Dilbert says, "Gotta go."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1996's comic on:

Tags #new manager, #keith, #masters in business, #motivating employees, #hire good people, #optional reading, #finance and economics, #alice

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to meet the newest member of my management team." The Boss continues, "Keith is highly qualified, he has a masters in business administration." Alice and Keith shake hands. Alice says, "Very impressive. They must have taught you a lot about motivating employees." Keith replies, "No, not really." Alice says, "Well . . . You probably learned how to identify and hire good people, right?" Keith replies, "That might have been optional reading." Alice asks, "Did you learn negotiation skills? Strategic thinking? Business writing?" Keith answers "No" to all three questions. Keith explains, "It was mostly finance and accounting. And economics." Alice says, "So, you're a highly qualified leader because . . . You're good at math?" Keith whispers to the Boss, "What should I do here?" The Boss replies, "In these situations I like to use swearing."