Search Results for "success"
Share April 24, 2001's comic on:
The boss says to Dilbert, "The key to success is to remain optimistic even when you fail." Dilbert says, "What's the point of succeeding if failing feels good too?" The boss says, "I'll read another page of the magazine article tomorrow and get back to you."
Share October 22, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert says to The Boss, "We have all of the elements to make the merger a success." Dogbert continues, "... Corrupt auditors, corrupt CEO, corrupt stock analysts, greedy bankers and clueless board members." The Boss asks, "And you?" Dogbert replies, "What are you implying?"
Share August 04, 2003's comic on:
"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."
Share April 09, 2004's comic on:
"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."
Share August 18, 2004's comic on:
Product designer Dogbert: Good design is essential to you success. Thats why I empty only the best artists and design professionals. Who ate all the crayons again?! Ratbert: Intruders?
Share March 05, 2005's comic on:
Wally: "My business trip to Elbonia was a success." "If anyone tells you that I cause a civil war that plunged their society into darkness, it's a lie." The Boss: "Did you loot me anything?" wally: "I didn't know your size."
Share July 22, 2005's comic on:
Share August 29, 2012's comic on:
Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!
Share November 20, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Persistence is the key to success. The other key to success is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: Your advice is contradictory nonsense. Boss: Because flexibility is the key to success.