Talking To Idiots Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for talking to idiots comic strips. Discover the best "Talking To Idiots" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complicated, #create chart, #decision process, #plan, #question, #talking about chart, #wasting money

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"This chart shows the decision process we're using for my project." "Here we're wasting money. Then someone said, 'hey, let's create a complicated chart.' Now we're at this meeting, talking about the chart." "I have a question." "Great...there goes the plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #filberts expense voucher, #idiots in accounting, #smart, #sadistic, #trolls, #humanoid characteristics, #right answer

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Dilbert is seated in front of a demonlike clerk. The clerk yells, "What are you trying to pull?? Do you think we're idiots in accounting?!!" Dilbert responds, "No, I swear, I think you're smart but sadistic trolls with many humanoid characteristics." Dilbert's hands and feet are bound and he is hanging upside down above a pit. He thinks to himself, "Apparently there was no right answer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reason with idiots, #waving paw

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Dogbert sits behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on, I will not try to reason with the idiots I encounter. I will dismiss them by waving my paw and saying 'bah.'" Dilbert says, "Just because someone thinks differently from you doesn't mean he's an idiot, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Bah."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reform tax code, #idiots, #have pets, #define idiots, #pay taxes

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Dogbert stands on a stage and says to an audience, "Vote for me and I will reform the tax code so that only idiots have to pay taxes!" The crowd cheers and chants Dogbert's name. Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "I hope nobody asks me to define 'idiots.'" Dilbert says, ". . . So, under your plan I wouldn't pay ANY taxes, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network administartor, #Dogbert, #good opportunity, #annoy idiots, #start tomorrow, #pager number

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dial number, #known idiots, #loser, #donosaur, #rat, #telemarketers, #idiots to call, #calling people, #phone tings

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Bob the dinosaur sits at a conference table with Ratbert and Dogbert.There are telephones on the table. Dogbert says, "You two will be my telemarketers. Here's a list of known idiots to call." Ratbert takes the list and picks up the phone. "I'll go first, Bob. Let's see... I dial the number and wait for an idiot to answer..." Bob's phone rings while he stares at it. Oblivious, Ratbert says, "C'mon, you loser, pick up the phone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blowing off idiots, #information, #web page, #misunderstood

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Dilbert sits at his computer. Dogbert walks up and says, "I have a new method for blowing off the idiots who ask questions." Dogbert waves his tiny armsi in the air and says, "I say, 'That information ison my web page. Shoo, shoo." Dilbert asks, "What happens when they find out it isn't?" Dogbert replies, "I'll say, 'You must have misunderstood your question.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #glorious day, #telecommuting, #district me, #talking refrigerator, #jar of pickles

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Alice wears a robe and has just gotten out of bed. She stretches her arms and says, "Ahhhh.. it's going to be a glorious day of telecommuting." Alice says, "There's nothing to distract me. It's just me..." In the kitchen Alice says, "..And my talking refrigerator." The fridge says, "I'll bet you can't eat a whole jar of pickles."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fun talking, #little bored, #shut you down, #conversation, #self centered girl, #yawn

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Dilbert is on a date. He walks his date home. She says, "I had fun talking to you tonight, Gilbert." The date says, "It got a little boring when you tried to steer the conversation away from me. But I managed to shut you down by looking uninterested." Dilbert corrects her. "It's Dilbert, not Gilbert." His date lets out a big fake yawn.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mutual fund, #past performance, #no indication, #future perfromance, #strategy, #entire investment, #personal expenses, #talking to wall

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Dogbert sits behind a large desk. He says to a potential investor, "As you know, past performance is no indication of future performance." Dogbert continues, "So my strategy is to use your entire investment for my personal expenses and see what happens." The investor says, "Has that strategy ever worked before?" Dogbert says, "Geez, it's like I'm talking to a wall here."