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Asok reports at a meeting: "I performed many tasks, but I can not claim any accomplishments." He continues: "Because things might have turned out better had I never been born." He turns to Dilbert: "Technically, it's true." Dilbert tells Asok: "Remind me to slap you later."
Catbert is standing on Wally's desk. Catbert says, "Your personal use of the internet is like stealing from the company!" Wally says, "You work in Human Resources; that's like stealing from the company, too." Wally continues, "Maybe we should form a gang."
The Boss says to Catbert, "I inadvertently gave Alice verbal praise." Catbert asks, "Is she addicted?" The Boss says, "She's been lying and stealing to get more." Catbert replies, "She leaves us no choice." The Boss says to Alice, "I have to promote you to management."
The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."
Catbert, the Evil H.R. director says to Wally, "Wally, our auditors found 40 gigabits of bikini pictures on your PC." Wally is thinking the same thing. Catbert says to Wally, "That is grounds for dismissal. How do you plead?" Wally thinks to himself, "Innocent. Technically, they didn't find any pictures." Wally says to Catbert, "What they found were zeroes and ones resting harmlessly on magnetic media." Wally continues, "It was the auditors themselves who activated thoe harmless bits to form pictures on the screen." Wally says to Catbert, "I demand that those godless auditors be fired!" Wally also says, "And if it's not too much trouble, I'd like my zeroes and ones back." After Wally's meeting with Catbert, Dilberts asks Wally "Was justice served?" Wally responds, "It's a gray area."
Dilbert says, "It's slow at work so I created my own internet business called Dilbertfiles.com woman says, "So you're stealing company resources?" Dilbert says, "I call myself a CEO." woman says, "I think I saw someone who isn't a miscreant."
Wally is in his cubicle. Asok approaches and exclaims, "This is an outrage!" Wally asks, "What?" Asok raises his arms and yells, "The so-called 'Working Lunch' tomorrow!" Asok continues, "They're stealing the only free time I have during the day!" Asok continues, "They give us some lousy sandwiches and expect us to work during lunch! Bah!" Asok exclaims, "IS NOTHING SACRED?!!" Asok asks Wally, "Why doesn't this bother you?" Wally responds, "I plan to eat their sandwiches and go to lunch after the meeting." Asok halts and says, "I... I can actually feel the wind beneath my wings!" Wally responds, "Sorry."