The End Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

202 Results for The End

View 21 - 30 results for the end comic strips. Discover the best "The End" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #upgarde, #product design, #overheat, #big picture, #no benefits, #over heating, #sales are strong, #end civilization

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I made an upgrade to your product design." He hands Dilbert a document. Dilbert says, "This would make the product overheat." The Boss says, "Let's try to look at the big picture." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Okay . . . Let's see . . . Your upgrade has no benefits and it costs more." Dilbert continues, "The overheating would start office fires and put all of our customers out of business." Dilbert continues, "If our sales are strong, we could create economic chaos and a global firestorm." Dilbert concludes, "Your 'upgrade' would destroy civilization as we know it." The Boss says, "Keep me informed." Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "So you're going to end civilization as we know it?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think I'll miss it, frankly."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #discouraged, #pointy haired boss, #pep talk, #dead end job, #grinding away, #high blood pressure, #stock options, #doctor kevorkian

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "Lately I've been feeling discouraged about my job." Alice says, "You should talk to our pointy-haired boss." Wally says, "That'll cheer you up." Asok says, "Maybe you're right. All I need is a little pep talk from our leader." He leaves the room. Alice, Dilbert and Wally laugh. Asok sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You think YOU're discouraged . . ." The Boss continues, "I've been stuck in this dead-end job for years, grinding away, day after day." The Boss continues, "And all I have to show for it is high blood pressure and worthless stock options." Asok looks frightened. Dilbert and Wally stand behind Asok's desk. Dilbert says, "It's so gratifying to watch them grow up." Asok says into the telephone, "I need the number for Doctor Kevorkian."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #hammer head bob, #im boring, #no way, #end conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

You're getting a visit from Hammer head Bob! I can't tell when Im boring, I might be boring now and I don't even know it, There's no way to end a conversation with me; I'll follow you to the bathroom. Dilbert: Im nailed.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #story ever end, #purchase silence, #fist of death, #two warning system

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #end war, #sell it, #sign for a dollar, #petition to end war

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is home reading a newspaper. Ratbert says, "I'm starting a petition to end war. Do you want in on this?" Dilbert asks, "Who are you going to give it to?" Ratbert responds, "Say what?" Ratbert says, "I was hoping to sell it." Dilbert responds, "I'll sign it for a dollar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss stalker, #wait, #offcie, #unscheduled, #suck up, #phone calls end, #still out there

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #prima donna, #never produced anything, #except arrogance, #noise, #ta-da, #case closed, #stand behind, #end sentences

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #signal meeting end, #take hint, #all gone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I'll arrange my papers to signal that I want this meeting to end." "Tap tap tap" "C'mon, take a hint!" Man: "So, as I was saying..." "Tap tap tap" Dilbert: "The man would not take a hint." Dogbert: "I said it's all gone!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #america, #arrogance, #elbonians, #end of time, #fight you, #fix problems, #what we do

View Transcript

Transcript

In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consultsincentivize the resources, #grow bandwidth, #end state vision, #kimono, #consult and blabbery, #core competencies, #brain dump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults. Incentivize the resources to grow within their bandwidth to your end-state vision. "Don't open the Kimono until you ping the change agent for brain dump and drill down to your core competencies." "Confused look...huge invoice...this man is a victim of consult and blabbery."