Therapist Comic Strips - Page 3
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Dilbert lies on a couch and his psychologist sits next to the couch taking notes. The therapist says, "Your problem is my mother." Dilbert asks, "YOUR mother? I don't even know your mother. How could she be my problem?" The psychiatrist says, "She's an evil woman and she lives under the couch." An old woman says, "What you need is a good swat!"
Ratbert sits on top of Dilbert's monitor and says, "I've become one of those people who misinterprets everything you say." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Ratbert says, "Why? Are you saying that nothing should ever change? Maybe you shouldn't be so rigid." Dilbert says, "This could be very annoying." Ratbert replies, "Maybe you should see a therapist for your emotional problem."
Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist asks, "When did you start believing that your boss was an evil entity from another dimension?" Dilbert imagines the Boss telling him, "I'd like to sit in on your customer meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss, Dilbert and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let me share the high level strategic view." Dilbert thinks, "Here we go." The Boss spreads his arms and says, "Life began in the primordial stew literally hundreds of years ago . . ." The Boss continues, "But we are the only company who ever found synergies in our win-win solutions!" The caption says, "Two hours later." The Boss says, "And we won't sop until we delight every customer!" The woman looks shocked and Dilbert covers his eyes. The customer says, "I'd be delighted if you just told me about your new Internet access product." The Boss replies, "I cancelled the funding yesterday." The Boss stands up and says, "Who's up for a tour of our cubicles?" Dilbert says, "Gotta go."
Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"
Webmistress Ming: Wally and Ming are talking in a hallway, Ming is holding a folder. Wally says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers: "I know, I know." Asok is standing in the door of Ming's cubicle and Ming is sitting at her computer. Asok says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers:"I know, I know." Ming is lying down on a reclining chair at a therapist office, the therapist is sitting behind her and taking notes. Ming says to the therapist: "The men are getting perverse pleasure from reporting my broken links." The therapist answers: "Your graphics are slow, too"
Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.
Wally lies on a psychologist's couch and says, "I can't stop dreaming about work." Wally continues, "And I usually sleep at work, so I'm dreaming about sleeping and it's freaking me out." The therapist asks, "Have you considered doing work?" Wally responds, "I want pills. You Quack."
Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."
Dilbert: All week I felt like I was driving through alternative universes I was me, But Was different. Therapist: Have you been near any dense objects that would make the fabric of space-time fold onto itself? ONE WEEK AGO The Boss: will there be any unforeseen problems? Dilbert: whats happening to me?
Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.