Tough Audience Comic Strips - Page 3

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53 Results for Tough Audience

View 21 - 30 results for tough audience comic strips. Discover the best "Tough Audience" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #management, #seminar, #optimistic, #creative, #individuals, #jargon-spewing, #corporate, #zombies, #donut

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Dogbert points to a picture of a man with a lightbulb over his head. Dogbert says, "Many of you come to my management seminar as optimistic, creative, clear-speaking individuals." Dogbert continues, "But with hard work, you can become jargon-spewing corporate zombies, like Carl here." Dilbert sits in the audience. Carl sits in a chair looking straight ahead and saying, "I want to dialogue with you about utilizing resources." Dogbert says, "Good boy! Here's a donut." Dogbert tosses him a donut.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #zombies, #squash, #creativity, #facial, #expression, #comprehension, #marketing, #fear

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Dogbert stands in front of an audience and says, "The successful zombie knows how to squash the creativity of co-workers." Dogbert points to a picture of a man with bags under his eyes and says, "When you hear a new idea, adopt a facial expression which conveys both fear and an utter lack of comprehension." Dogbert continues, "Those of you who work in marketing only need to add the fear part." Someone asks, "Why is that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu the monkey, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #elbonia, #elbonian man, #body guard

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Dilbert packs his suitcase. Ratbert says, "I'll go with you on your trip to Elbonia. I can be your bodyguard." Dilbert replies, "It's not a good place for a rat. The mud is quite . . ." Ratbert yells, "You think I'm not tough enough? I'll show you!!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian points at a bump in the mud next to Dilbert and asks, "And THAT'S your bodyguard?" Ratbert says from under the mud, "I don't like the tone of your voice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #judges were cruel, #olympic competition, #play, #ratbert, #scored a two, #sofa, #doves, #rat on couch

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Ratbert: A hush comes over the crowd. This would be Ratbert's most difficult dive. Dilbert: I give it a two. Ratbert: The judges were cruel but rather captured the hearts aof the audience , endorsements would follow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert venture capitalist, #invest 5 million, #agree, #standard conditions, #chairman of board, #mow lawn, #wash car, #touch bargainer, #multimedia developers, #gardening needs

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Dogbert sits at his desk and a businessman sits across from him. Reading from a document, Dogbert says, "I'll invest up to five million dollars if you'll agree to some standard conditions." Dogbert continues, "I will be chairman of the board and own 99% of the company. You will work for free and wash my car twice a week." The businessman asks, "Can I mow your lawn instead of washing your car?" Dogbert answers, "You're a tough bargainer, but I prefer multimedia developers for my gardening needs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

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An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #evolved, #bird, #Family, #Dogbert, #realize, #paleolithic, #era, #living, #nuisance

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Dogbert sits on the hassock and Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "I read that dinosaurs evolved into the bird family." Bob replies, "That's exactly correct, Dogbert." Bob continues, "But most people don't realize that there was a very difficult period when some dinosaurs started evolving into birds." Bob continues, "Learning how to fly was the hardest part." Several dinosaurs jump off a cliff and land on their heads. Another dinosaur straps on a helmet. Bob continues, "And living in trees was a real nuisance." A dinosaur clings to a branch as it falls to the ground. Dogbert says, "Boy, that sounds tough." Bob says, "The tragic part is that we did it just for the 'bonus miles.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Kids, #school, #president, #united states, #basic, #knowledge, #north america, #sarcasm, #Trivia, #sense, #m.c. hammer, #pitiful, #shocking, #important

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Dilbert holds a microphone and says to the reader, "Why are kids so dumb? Have the schools failed? Let's talk to a typical youth." Dilbert asks a boy, "Who was the sixth president of the United States?" The boy replies, "Who cares?" Dilbert asks, "How will he ever get a job without this basic knowledge?" Dilbert asks, "What is the deepest lake in North America?" The boy replies, "Who cares?" Dilbert says to the audience, "Pitiful . . . Shocking . . ." The child asks Dilbert, "Who is M. C. Hammer?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know, but it's not important. It's trivia." The boy says, "Oh, I see. What YOU know is important, but what I know is trivia. Yes, yes, it all makes sense now." Dilbert asks, "Is that sarcasm?" The boy replies, "D-uhh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #reform tax code, #idiots, #have pets, #define idiots, #pay taxes

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Dogbert stands on a stage and says to an audience, "Vote for me and I will reform the tax code so that only idiots have to pay taxes!" The crowd cheers and chants Dogbert's name. Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "I hope nobody asks me to define 'idiots.'" Dilbert says, ". . . So, under your plan I wouldn't pay ANY taxes, right?"