Two Good Words Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Two Good Words
View 21 - 30 results for two good words comic strips. Discover the best "Two Good Words" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 15,
1999
Tags #venture capitalists, #cool ponytail, #squandered, #investment, #no more funding, #mutter words, #e commerce, #gurgle, #swoon
Transcript
Caption: "Venture capitalists" Two venture capitalists sit at a conference table. One of the venture capitalists says, "Despite your cool ponytail, you seem to have squandered our investment." One of the venture capitalists says, "You'll get nor more funding unless you mutter empty internet words that make us swoon!" Wally says, "E-commerce." Both venture capitalists fall out of their chairs,
Friday January 22,
1999
Tags #profits good, #manager, #credit card, #900 call, #airplane phone, #call wife, #traveling
Transcript
Man points to an overhead projection of a graph. He says, "Our profits were good until a manager.." The boss sits, looking suprised, between two mad peers. The man with the overhead says, "...used his credit card to make a 900 call from an airplane phone." The boss says, "Hey, I'm allowed to call my wife when I'm traveling!"
Thursday March 09,
2000
Tags #one page report, #two page executive summary, #spend the day, #snapping underwear, #elastic band
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert: "Can you turn your one-page report into a two-page executive summary?" Dilbert answers: "I was planning to spend the day snapping myself with the elastic band on my underwear." He continues: "But your idea is good, too."
Tuesday December 05,
2000
Tags #jruy duty, #what excuse, #happy to serve, #civic responsibility, #insanity, #good one
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."
Sunday November 29,
1998
Tags #mandatory class, #windows, #training, #teacher doesn't know, #no computers, #uses box, #teeth as keyboard
Transcript
Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."
Saturday February 09,
2002
Tags #evil hr dircetor, #marketing department, #bad news, #good news, #non dairy creamer, #five cups a day
Transcript
Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "The bad news is that I had to get rid of our marketing department." Catbert continues, "The good news is that we have tons of nondairy creamer!" Dilbert and Wally are drinking coffee. Dilbert asks, "Do you think those two things are related?" Wally replies, "If they are, I'm cutting back to five cups a day."
Friday April 08,
2005
Tags #handpicked, #team, #no budget, #laziness, #least effirt, #yvonne, #hotness, #power over men, #manipulated by all, #good meeting, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: "I hand-picked you two for my team becasue we have no budget." "Wally, your laziness helps you accomplish the most work with the least effort. Yvonne, your hotness give syou the power to make men do what you want for nothing." "So, then Yvonne convinced me to do her work and Wally went on disability leave." Dogbert: "But otherwise, a good meeting?"
Wednesday October 19,
2005
Tags #delete incriminating email, #witness to crime, #no good plan
Transcript
I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"
Monday October 24,
2005
Tags #unpaid overtime, #death, #deny pleasures, #good night kiss, #this thing, #medical
Transcript
"You know what two things are very similar?" "Unpaid overtime and death. They both deny me the pleasures of being alive." "How about a good night kiss?" "Hey, you found a third thing!"
Saturday March 01,
2008
Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix
Transcript
Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"