Unreasonable Deadline Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

84 Results for Unreasonable Deadline

View 21 - 30 results for unreasonable deadline comic strips. Discover the best "Unreasonable Deadline" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #indecion, #intense pressure, #impossible before deadline, #layers of management., #incompetence, #odor of doom, #scarce and sniff, #3d glasses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #executives, #happiness, #deadline, #no disturbance, #threat, #fired, #do/dont, #sexist, #powertrip, #euphoria, #overpaid, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm on a deadline, so don't let anyone disturb me for at least an hour. If anyone gets past you, you're fired. CEO: Tell your boss to come to my office now. Carol: He'll fire me if I disturb him. CEO: I'm your CEO! Disturb your boss now or I'll fire you. Boss: I heard that, and if you disturb me, you're fired. CEO: You're fired if you don't! Boss: You're fired if you do! CEO: Whoa! Hold on! I'm getting a sudden wave of euphoria. Boss: Me too! CEO: Is it because we're overpaid? Boss: It... it feels... wonderful!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #assignment, #deadline, #tasks, #finsihing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't finish your assignment by the deadline. Wally: It won't matter as long as one other employee is also late, because the project can't move forward until everyone does their tasks. Wait fir it... wait... Coworker: You know how I was supposed to finish that thing?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #work best, #under pressure, #deadline, #corner stone

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Wally, are you almost done with your part of the project? Wally: I work best under pressure, so I wait until the deadline is almost here. Coworker: What if something more important comes up and you don't have time? Wally: That's the cornerstone of my system.

I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems

Thank you for voting.
I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #authority, #convincing, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #launch deadline, #solutions, #unexpected problems, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.

Boss Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Boss Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #no-win, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.

World's Saddest Club

Thank you for voting.
World's Saddest Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #deadline, #lose-lose, #choosing

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Can you get that analysis to me by Tuesday? Alice: Yes, if I do it poorly. Alternately, I can do it well and miss your deadline by a week. Man: That gives me no path to success. Alice: Welcome to the world's saddest club.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #space, #cubicle, #conference room, #office, #sharing, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.

Artificial Deadlines

Thank you for voting.
Artificial Deadlines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #logic, #motivation, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??