Unscrupulous Weasel Comic Strips - Page 3
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52 Results for Unscrupulous Weasel
View 21 - 30 results for unscrupulous weasel comic strips. Discover the best "Unscrupulous Weasel" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 03,
2002
Tags #weasel of layoffs, #experience, #histiate, #defects, #list of defects
Transcript
The hooded weasel approaches Ted's desk and says, "Hell-o-o-o Ted. I'm the weasel of layoffs." The weasel of layoffs continues, "If there's any way I can make this experience more humiliating, don't hesitate to ask." Ted exclaims, "Why, why me??!!" The weasel responds. "I'll tape a list of defects to your old chair."
Friday December 13,
2002
Tags #bankrupt, #company, #sing along, #weasel dance, #business
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting on the couch reading a book. Dogbert approaches and says, "I sold my stock and made billions before driving my company into bankruptcy." Dogbert dances and says, "Now I do the Weasel Dance." Hoo-ah! Yee-ha! Woo- woo-woo!" Dogbert stops and asks, "Would it kill you to clap and sing along?"
Wednesday February 05,
2003
Tags #health benefits, #itch, #mood altering, #stinking weasel, #skin rash, #drugs
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I'm taking a mood-altering prescription drug to treat a skin rash." Dilbert continues, "I still itch, but I don't care. In fact, I don't even think you're a huge, stinkin' weasel." Dilbert points to The Boss with both hands and exclaims, "I love you! You da man!" The Boss replies, "Remind me to cancel your health benefits."
Tuesday July 29,
2003
Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel
Transcript
"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"
Thursday June 12,
2008
Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Thursday July 31,
2008
Tags #plaintiff, #favor of, #weasel, #unanimous, #wants to leave, #juror, #jury, #jurors box, #legal
Transcript
JUROR: "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"
Sunday February 10,
2002
Tags #extra funding, #extra network traffic, #hard data, #infinte capacity, #logic, #opinions, #science works, #weasel misrepresnting, #science
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I don't think our network can handle the extra network traffic." The Boss replies, "Opinions don't matter to me. I base my decisions on hard data." Dilbert responds, "How about logic? Our network is already too slow and we plan to quadruple usage." The Boss responds, "Bah! Watch how science works and maybe you'll learn something." The Boss pokes his head out of his office and says to Doug, "Doug, come here for a minute." Doug says, "Our data proves that our network has infinite capacity, so your budget should be diverted to my project." Dilbert exclaims, "That's not science! That's a weasel misinterpreting data to get extra funding!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "There are days when you really hate to hear the phrase 'po-tay-to, po-tah-to."
Monday July 29,
2013
Tags #baby, #falls, #game, #management fast track, #money, #money bags, #punch wessel, #rescuing plastic baby, #test, #weasel, #greed, #failed test
Transcript
Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.
Thursday October 02,
2014
Tags #answers, #deception, #questioning, #questions, #reorganization, #deceptive weasel, #guilt, #employee, #employer
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard a rumor of a reorganization. Is it true? Boss: Who told you that? Dilbert: Answering a question with a question means yes. Boss: Are you accusing me of being a deceptive weasel? Dilbert: Why would you ask that?
Sunday September 09,
2018
Tags #data, #Dilbert, #internet, #jerry, #tweet, #weasel
Transcript
Jerry: Omg! You are soooo wrong! I literally cannot believe you are this gullible. Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! I can't wait to tweet about your stupidity. Your dumbness will live forever on the internet! Dilbert: You probably haven't seen the new data that proves I'm right. Will you apologize like a decent human being or will you move the goalposts claim victory. And trash my name like a demented weasel? Jerry: Can you tell me more about the weasel option?