Catbert: Evil director of human resources
Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude.
Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational?
CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival.
Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death.
Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.
I asked Disgruntled Doug to work on our pricing model. "The fate of the entire company rests in his tiny hands." "That reminds me: I gave your cubicle to an intern." "But don't worry. I have another workspace for you." "You can use this little cardboard box that the laser printer came in." "It's only temporary." "Until we can find you a larger cardboard box." "I have an urge to underestimate costs."