Useless Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

114 Results for Useless

View 21 - 30 results for useless comic strips. Discover the best "Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #oil wells, #albanian wild life preserve, #extinction, #seven species, #useless, #species, #eat and grunt

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #travel request, #apporved, #otherwise, #being useless, #olympic sport

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the Boss. He asks, "Did you look at my travel request?" The Boss replies, "Not yet." The Boss continues, "Assume it's approved unless I tell you otherwise." Dilbert replies, "It's too bad that being useless isn't an Olympic sport."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #highly prodcutive, #useless guy, #employee abseteeism, #stats, #analysis, #disk storage, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #discontinued chips, #crazy glare, #useless

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #expect raises, #bad ratings, #reflect poorly, #ability to motivate, #useless people, #feel bad

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #work ethic, #to do list, #useless meeting, #busy work, #power point slides, #productivity today

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's see what's on my "to do" list for today. Useless meeting... busywork... make misleading PowerPoint slides... and another useless meeting. Dogbert: How was your productivity today? Dilbert: I know you're mocking me.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #Games, #aggressive recently, #testosterone, #trivia contest, #useless worm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've been aggressive recently. Wally: I haven't noticed. Dilbert: I think my testosterone is all jacked up because I won the company's online trivia contest. Not get out of my way, useless worm. Wally: Okay, I'm starting to see it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #class, #less useless, #carry coffee cups, #work faster, #two hands

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I took a class to learn how to be less useless." Wally says, "Now I carry twice as many coffee cups wherever I go." Carol says, "Does that make you work faster?" Wally says, "I only have two hands."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #eating, #golf, #weekends, #useless, #lessons, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm no longer content to be useless at work." Wally says, "I decided to take up golf so I can be useless on weekends too." Dilbert says, "Are you going to take lessons?" Wally says, "You get to hit the ball more if you don't."