Useless Comic Strips - Page 3
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117 Results for Useless
View 21 - 30 results for useless comic strips. Discover the best "Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 11,
2001
Tags oil wells, albanian wild life preserve, extinction, seven species, useless, species, eat and grunt
Transcript
The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."
Friday June 08,
2001
Tags travel request, apporved, otherwise, being useless, olympic sport
Transcript
Dilbert approaches the Boss. He asks, "Did you look at my travel request?" The Boss replies, "Not yet." The Boss continues, "Assume it's approved unless I tell you otherwise." Dilbert replies, "It's too bad that being useless isn't an Olympic sport."
Wednesday June 27,
2001
Tags meeting to discuss, employee retention, employees quit, useless meetings, reasons, first meetings
Transcript
The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."
Thursday October 14,
2004
Tags highly prodcutive, useless guy, employee abseteeism, stats, analysis, disk storage, science
Transcript
The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.
Monday January 17,
2005
Tags discontinued chips, crazy glare, useless
Transcript
"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."
Monday April 25,
2005
Tags evil director, expect raises, bad ratings, reflect poorly, ability to motivate, useless people, feel bad
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."
Friday December 14,
2012
Tags meetings, work ethic, to do list, useless meeting, busy work, power point slides, productivity today
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's see what's on my "to do" list for today. Useless meeting... busywork... make misleading PowerPoint slides... and another useless meeting. Dogbert: How was your productivity today? Dilbert: I know you're mocking me.
Friday December 28,
2012
Tags anger, Games, aggressive recently, testosterone, trivia contest, useless worm
Transcript
Dilbert: I've been aggressive recently. Wally: I haven't noticed. Dilbert: I think my testosterone is all jacked up because I won the company's online trivia contest. Not get out of my way, useless worm. Wally: Okay, I'm starting to see it.
Wednesday June 04,
2008
Tags class, less useless, carry coffee cups, work faster, two hands
Transcript
Wally says, "I took a class to learn how to be less useless." Wally says, "Now I carry twice as many coffee cups wherever I go." Carol says, "Does that make you work faster?" Wally says, "I only have two hands."
Saturday January 16,
2010
Tags lunch, eating, golf, weekends, useless, lessons, Sports
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm no longer content to be useless at work." Wally says, "I decided to take up golf so I can be useless on weekends too." Dilbert says, "Are you going to take lessons?" Wally says, "You get to hit the ball more if you don't."


