Vital Records Protection Plan Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

542 Results for Vital Records Protection Plan

View 21 - 30 results for vital records protection plan comic strips. Discover the best "Vital Records Protection Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #unorthodox, #plan, #improving, #image, #company, #shoot, #lucky, #guess

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I have an unorthodox plan for improving your image in the company." The Boss says, "Shoot." Dogbert says, "Lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wearing, #undewear, #fired, #company, #layoff, #plan, #generous, #leave, #freedom, #local, #management, #dealing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #plan, #Dilbert, #Family, #timmy, #toilet, #pathetic, #rending, #love, #little, #respect

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "I've developed a plan to make you pity me and then welcome me in your family." Ratbert shows Dilbert a roll of toilet paper with a face drawn on it. Ratbert says, "I built Timmy the Toilet Paper Man. Timmy will be my only friend. It will be so pathetic that you will have to love me." Ratbert shows Dogbert an empty roll of toilet paper and says, "Dilbert seems to have very little respect for Timmy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #photograph, #Dilbert, #man, #invented, #something, #entire, #product, #obsolete, #plan, #wax, #desk, #hair, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

A man shows a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "His name is Dilbert. He invented something that would make our entire product line obsolete." The man behind the desk asks, "Do you have a plan?" The employee replies, "Uh . . . I could wax your desk with my hair again." The man says, "It's just crazy enough to work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #help, #co-worker, #hate, #job, #mean, #vital, #information, #control, #secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert kneels in front of Floyd's desk. Floyd yells, "What?! You think I'll help you just because I'm your co-worker?? Ha! I hate co-workers!" Dilbert begs, "All I need is . . ." Floyd yells, "I hate this job! I hate everything! The only thing I like is being mean to co-workers who need the vital information that I control!" Dilbert's underwear has been streched over his head. Another man with a wedgie says, "If you think YOU hate him, you should try being his secretary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

View Transcript

Transcript

At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #noriko, #generation, #Kids, #power, #names, #ship, #oxygen, #mars, #plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #man, #woman, #zombies, #office, #business-plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the seminar participants, "As a zombie, you must speak in empty generalities." Dogbert continues, "Your business plan might say 'We strive to utilize a variety of techniques to accomplish a broad spectrum of results toward the bottom line.'" A man says, "Hey! My skin is getting clammy and I have the urge to call a meeting!" The man sitting next to him says, "Me too!" Dogbert says, "Good . . . Good . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #product, #what it does, #who would duse it, #rest later, #plan to sell, #psychic

View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't know what the project should do or who would use it." "But if you could tell us what it costs to build it, we'll figure out the rest later." "What year do you plan to sell it?" "What am I - psychic or something??"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #complicated, #create chart, #decision process, #plan, #question, #talking about chart, #wasting money

View Transcript

Transcript

"This chart shows the decision process we're using for my project." "Here we're wasting money. Then someone said, 'hey, let's create a complicated chart.' Now we're at this meeting, talking about the chart." "I have a question." "Great...there goes the plan."