Walls Letter Comic Strips - Page 3
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Headline: Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert is talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Your software is worn out. You must be typing too hard." Dogbert continues, "Switch to decaf, paint your walls pink and stop going to the gym." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and says, "I've never heard of holistic tech support." Dogbert replies, "Maybe you should read more."
Wally is holding his letter up to the light. Dilbert says, "I've never seen anyone get this excited over a piece of junk mail." Wally responds, "I've never been on a mailing list before. This letter is a validation of my existence." Dilbert says, "It's not addressed to you." Wally replies, "I'll grant you that it's not a clean win."
The Boss approaches Wally and says, "I have an unimportant project, so I thought of you." The Boss continues, "Find a bunch of inspirational quotes that we can put on the lobby walls." Wally types, "If being an eagle is such a good idea, why are there so few of them?"
CAtbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: cubicles are too expensive. we're moving to an open plan, You'll attend a special classy to ease your transition. Wally: its like he's in a cubicle with invisible walls!
Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology
The Boss: "Asok, I decided to give you a slight promotion!" Asok: "Gasp! A slight promotion!" The Boss: "The pay will be the same but you can make your cubicle slighlty larger by shaving the ragged fabric on the inside walls." "Your new title is spelled just like the old one but it's pronounced totally differently." "ZZZZZ"
Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"
Dilbert says, "Would it be okay if I talked to a potential customer?" The Boss says, "No. You're not in sales. I need you to focus on your project." Dilbert says, "I already talked to them. Is it okay if I arrange a demo?" The Boss says, "No. Only the sales teams arrange demos." Dilbert says, "I already gave the demo." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I convince them to buy $40 million of our product?" The Boss says, "No, because you won't succeed." Dilbert says, "Here's their letter of intent." The Boss says, "You shouldn't slap yourself now." Dilbert says, "Yes I... wait. Nice try."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You need to socialize your idea with the rest of the department." Dilbert replies, "Socialize? Is that the same as getting buy-in?" The Boss answers, "It's one step below buy-in. It's more like dialoging for feedback." Dilbert says, "Wait...I thought that building consensus was one step below buy- in." The Boss responds, "Just run it up a flagpole and see who salutes." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be better to do a temperature check using a straw man?" The Boss answers, "Maybe... But is that going to inoculate the stakeholders?" A letter from Scott Adams reads, "Dear Reader, If you or anyone you love understands the preceding conversation, you have my deepest sympathy." Signed, "S.A."
The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, I want you to write a letter to our new customer." Dilbert follows The Boss down the hall. The Boss continues, "I'll tell you what to say, then you'll go write it and I'll sign it." The Boss sits at his desk and continues, "This way I won't waste my valuable executive time." He pauses and then continues, "It's efficient." Dilbert responds, "Yes, that's one possible outcome." He pauses and then continues, "Here's another." Dilbert continues, "You'll keep forgetting to mention important things that should be in the letter." Dilbert continues, "I'll be trapped in an endless loop of writing, tracking you down, getting criticized and starting over." Dilbert continues, "Or you could simply write the letter yourself and save us both a huge hassle." The Boss responds, "In paragraph one, say something like 'Hi.'"