Whistle Both Nostrils Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

201 Results for Whistle Both Nostrils

View 21 - 30 results for whistle both nostrils comic strips. Discover the best "Whistle Both Nostrils" comics from Dilbert.com.

Engineers Built Everything That Matters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineers Built Everything That Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #importance, #marketing, #wages, #pay scale, #modern civilization, #need both, #marketing guy, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.

Dilbert Characters

Smart People Are On Both Sides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smart People Are On Both Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Politics, #intelligence, #appearances, #perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

Both Huge Liars

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Both Huge Liars - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #tinder, #app, #relationships, #lying, #deceit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You don't look like your photos on the dating app. Woman: Your profile said you like to go to the gym. So I guess we're both huge liars. Dilbert: Maybe we can build on that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #worry, #no probelms, #insane, #universe, #nail waiting for hammer, #pre frontal cortex, #anticipation, #too smooth, #mysteriously calm, #uncomforatbale

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried because I don't seem to have any problems today. Wally: Uh-oh. Dilbert: That either means I'm insane or the universe is saving up something big. Wally: Or both. Dilbert: I feel like a nail waiting to get hammered. Wally: The pre-frontal cortex is overrated.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #quantum computer, #prototype, #success, #in between state

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe lounge, #more vocal, #accomplishments, #bragging, #perfect substotute, #wind, #seat cushion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I think I need to be more vocal about my accomplishments. Wally: I've found that bragging is a perfect substitute for accomplishing stuff. Dilbert: I plan to do both. Wally: Wow. You are the wind beneath my seat cushion.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walk, #hallway, #stranger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "It's so awkward to walk past strangers in hallways; you always gotta avoid eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "I know - I'll wait until we're near and then pick up that little piece of fuzz on the carpet there." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then we both went for the carpet fuzz." Dogbert replies, "Smooth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #social anxiety, #fire alarm, #manners, #grins

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dates, #love, #dating, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"