Who You Know Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Who You Know

View 21 - 30 results for who you know comic strips. Discover the best "Who You Know" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need to know, #basis, #crawl space, #underhouse, #news, #don't believe news, #fake news

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on his couch. Dogbert approaches and says, "I'm putting you on a strict 'need to know' basis." Dogbert continues, "And stay out of the crawl space under the house." Dogbert continues, "And don't believe anything you see in the news for about six months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #have none, #intern, #know how, #semi colons, #skills, #teaching, #tech suport, #useful skills, #cubicle, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stagger lunch, #someone here, #know in adavnce, #take a pill, #pecking order, #errands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "From now on, I want you to stagger your lunch so someone is always here." Asok exclaims, "Gaaa! As the lowest person in the pecking order, I will never know in advance when I can eat." Asok yells, "It is the end of errands as I know them!!" The Boss turns and says, "Sheesh, take a pill."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 hrs a week, #ask for raise, #top secret facilit, #super genius, #resume, #honest, #take one, #know one

View Transcript

Transcript

An interviewee says to The Boss, "If you hire me, I'll work a hundred hours a week and never ask for a raise!" The interviewee continues, "I went to school at a top-secret facility for super geniuses; that's why it's not on my resume." The Boss says to Catbert, "And I'm sure it's all true because he says he's honest!" Catbert replies, "Apparently it doesn't take one to know one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #description, #projected course, #impossible, #uncertainty principle, #understand project, #know cost

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need a description of your project and its projected cost." "That's impossible." "The project uncertainty principle says that if you understand a project, you won't know its cost, and vice versa." "You just made that up." "That doesn't make it wrong."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #do something, #let you know, #spitting on forehead, #whats worng

View Transcript

Transcript

"When you do something that I don't like, I'll let you know by cursing and then spitting on your forehead." "Maybe you could just tell me what I did wrong." "#*$@!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales call, #long distance, #how long?, #50 miles long, #don't know anyone

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."