Worth Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
88 Results for Worth
View 21 - 30 results for worth comic strips. Discover the best "Worth" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 07,
2007
Tags #art, #criticism, #irritation, #worth
Transcript
Art Department Dogbert: I am Dogbert, the quantifier of unquantifiable things. I declare you to be worth $85. No one likes to be quantified.
Friday December 07,
2012
Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee
Transcript
Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?
Friday August 30,
2013
Tags #complaining, #depression (mental state), #inventions, #self worth, #doubt, #microwave, #machine language, #kill me, #beep
Transcript
Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.
Wednesday September 25,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #executives, #mental health, #psychopaths, #grandiose sense, #self worth, #kill for asking
Transcript
Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.
Monday July 14,
2014
Tags #money, #rich people, #being rich, #income inequality, #happy, #networth, #thousand times, #800 times, #net worth
Transcript
Dogbert: I like a lot of things about being rich, but I like the income inequality the best. It makes me happy to know that my net worth is about a thousand times more than yours. Dilbert: It's actually closer to 800 times my net worth. Dogbert: You ruined it!!!
Thursday September 24,
2015
Ceo Compensation
Tags #money, #worth, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #fair, #pay, #expenses, #saving, #rich people, #executives
Transcript
Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.
Sunday May 08,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #suspicion, #features for product, #overstaffed, #spare time, #job description, #healthy raise, #highest performance rating
Transcript
Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.
Saturday March 03,
2012
Tags #brag, #contributions, #ego, #hours of work, #man of ideas, #meeting, #business
Transcript
Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.
Friday June 08,
2012
Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples
Transcript
Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?