Writing Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

129 Results for Writing

View 21 - 30 results for writing comic strips. Discover the best "Writing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writing code, doing job, excellent benefits, package, eating sandwhich, crime pays, working, other compnay, stolen sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert sit in the breakroom eating lunch with a co-worker. The co-worker says, "I spend all day writing code for another company while it looks like I'm doing my job here." The co-worker pauses from eating a sandwich and says, "Crime pays, and it also has an excellent benefits package." Wally looks at his co-worker and says, "Are you eating my sandwich?" The co-worker answers, "I'm saving mine for dinner."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags out of engineer, more adminstrative, write reports, gradually shift, writing reports, vegetative

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to make a gradual shift out of engineering and into something more administrative." Wally continues, "For example, I could write reports that tell other people how to do their jobs better." Wally concludes, "Then I could gradually shift out of writing reports and into something more vegetative."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags extreme programming., code writing, team, tw programmers, one computer, productive arrangement, whistle both nostrils, saved on harmonicas, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writing email, 12 page description, carpal tunnel issue, do work, self inflicted, chapter, email

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina is sitting at her computer. Dilbert approaches and asks, "Tina, would you...?" Tina interrupts him, "Hold on while I finish writing this e-mail." Tina says, "It's a twelve-page description of my carpal tunnel issue, and the fact that there's never enough time to do my work." Dilbert asks, "Are all of your problems self-inflicted?" Tina responds, "That's it! I'm adding a chapter about you. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writers, product descirption, 26 oclock, fleemsday, group writing, real

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can we schedule a time to write the product description together? Dilbert: Sure. How about 26 o'clock next Fleemsday? Tina: That's not a real time. Dilbert: It's as real as the productivity of group writing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agile programming, cpmplain, training, write code, no more planning, no more documentation, just start writing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tech writer, stack of papers, speed of writing, breakthrough, realize accuracy, optional, micromanage, errors

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the tech writer Tina: "As you requested I increased the speed of my writing." "My breakthrough was realizing that accuracy and clarity are optional!" "Would you like to micromanage me by reading it all and pointing out the errors?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), computer programmers, code, writing code, conspiracy theories

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, compliment, compliments, insult, insulting, work ethic, technical skills, perfect attendance, risk averse, no social life, irrational needs, code writing puppet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Carol's Hate Jealousy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Carol's Hate Jealousy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, pandemic, business, anger, writing, novel, write, ambitious, intense, hate, jealously, encouragement, die, covid, lane

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and carol wearing face masks. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a novel. carol yelling: stay in your lane! i'm not ambitious and i have intense hate-jealousy for anyone who is! dilbert: i was looking for some encouragement. carol: die! die! die!