Wrote And App Comic Strips - Page 3

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116 Results for Wrote And App

View 21 - 30 results for wrote and app comic strips. Discover the best "Wrote And App" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #fired, #gross incompetence, #train, #before leaving, #coded jave app, #incompetent parts

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CarL: "Although I've been fired for gross incompetence, I'm professional enough to train you before I leave." Dilbert:"Don't bother. I already coded a Java app to do everything you do." Carl: "Everything?" Dilbert: "Except for the incompetent parts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #back up server, #overkill, #wrote document, #interpret document, #meaning, #missinterpret document

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"This document says a backup server is overkill." Dilbert: "Um, no, it says the opposite of that. I know because I wrote it this morning." "No, I think you're misinterpreting it." Dilbert: "I wrote it!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions

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CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?

Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates

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Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social interaction, #social media, #coders, #coding, #engineers, #friends, #work ethic, #social life, #technology

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Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?

App For Hiring Decisions

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App For Hiring Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mansplaining, #tech, #programmers, #coders, #interview, #hiring, #stereotype

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Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!

Brainstorming App Ideas

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Brainstorming App Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #brainstorm, #idea, #thinking, #criticism, #judge, #judging, #technology, #invention, #judgment, #legal

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Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

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Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction

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Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

Government Wants To Kill Dilbert

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Government Wants To Kill Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #cyber attack, #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #spying, #surveillance, #privacy, #hiding, #hiding out

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G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

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Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Random Number Generator

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Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney

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Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.