October 1997 Comic Strips - Page 3

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sport memorabilia, baseball, autographed, babe ruth, autographed later, Sports

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A kid in a baseball hat holds a baseball while Dogbert stands on the counter next to the cash register. The kid says, "This is the best price I've seen for a baseball autographed by Babe Ruth." The kids holds the ball up and says, "But I don't see where the autograph is." t gets autographed later tonight." The kid says, "I'll take this and three of the Honus Wagner cards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autographed by jesus, footbal, stitches, healed, oink

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Dilbert holds a football. A baseball and bat lie on the table. Dilbert says, "You say this football was autographed by Jesus..." Dilbert holds the ball up and says, "But I'm no fool. This isn't a football. It has no stiches." Dogbert says, "They healed." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dogbert says, "And I think I heard it oink."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autographs for sale, check back, martin luther, martin luther king jr., religious leader, softball signed

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A man holds a baseball and says, "Wow... a softball signed by Martin Luther, leader of the Protestant Reformation." The man hands the ball to Dogbert. "I'm impressed, but what I'm looking for is something signed by Martin Luther King Jr." The man says, "Too bad you don't have anything from him." Dogbert scribbles on a baseball with a pen and says, "Check back in ten minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, ask questions, bury survivors, dont embarrass boss, highly visible, meetings, put them in trunk, promoted

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags seeing beautiful woman, curtains, venetian blinds, lawn chair in yard

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've been seeing a beautiful woman. But something came between us." Dilbert says, "Her curtains?" Wally says, "Venetian blinds. Totally unforgiving." Dilbert says, "Maybe she got spooked when you put the lawn chair in her yard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags editable wax fruit, live at desk, no social life, social activity, vending machine food, marketing network

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During a staff meeting, The Boss says, "It has come to my attention that one of you has a social life." Wally says, "There must be some mistake." The Boss says, "We can't be successful until our social lives are worse than the industry average." He stands up and says, "Our competitors spend the nights in their cubicles. They eat from vending machines." The Boss walks behind Wally, Dilbert and Alice. He says, "Someone here has not shown the same level of competetive spirit." The Boss grabs Asok by the collar and says, "Someone had a social activity last night!" Asok cries, "I'm sorry! I thought they were friends... but they were only recruiting for a multi-level marketing network!!!" Dilbert says, "What were they selling?" Asok says, "Edible wax fruit. Brochure?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disturbing pattern, soultions, problems, try last, old rags, due respect

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I've noticed a distrubing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try last." Alice says, "With all due respect, are you using your skull to store old rags or what?" The Boss says to Alice as she leaves her office, "It's a good thing you said, 'With all due respect.'" Alice rols her eyes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, doesn't know, being insulted, with all due respect, intangible benefits, insulting, monkey face

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, java coding, raise salary, spinning head, 10 years experience

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Catbert says to Wally, "I can't raise your salary level because you don't have ten years experience with 'Java' coding." Wally raises his hand and says, "Nobody has ten years experience with new technology! You're just being evil. Admit it." Catbert's head spins. Wally says, "And could you please shake your head back and forth instead of spinning it around?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contact, important documents, listening, managers, mandatory classes, subordinates, time mangement, prerequisite class

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Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."