2005 Comic Strips - Page 3

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open art gallery, #full bar, #putrid art, #specialize, #synergy

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Dogbert: I plan to open an art gallery with a full bar. "I'll specialize in putrid art that's unreasonably priced." "Synergy" "Thash so bee-oo-tiful!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #art bar, #dreadful, #rat checked, #bar nuts, #midnight

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Dogbert's Art Bar "That painting is dreadful. It looks as if a rat created it." "Lucky guess. I'll ask you again at midnight." Later that night "Ah wan ahix of ose an shum bar nuts!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change is good, #triple pay, #meeting, #work for free, #change can be bad, #slogans, #logic, #business

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The Boss: "You must learn that change is good." Change is :) "Any questoins?" Wally: "Who wants this one?" Dilbert: "I got it." "Question: Why don't you triple our pay? That would be a change." The Boss: "That would not be in the best interst of shareholders." Dilbert: "Okay, why don't you work for free? That's a change that's good for shareholders." "Or would it be better to admit that change can be very bad?" Wally: "My favorite part was when he yelled, "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"" Dilbert: "Snort hee-hee!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stressful project, #worst thing, #pep talk, #jumped window, #imprint on window screen

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Wally: "Alice, I hear that your project is stressful." "Sometimes it helps if you ask yourself: what's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert: "How'd the pep talk go?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astonishing incompetence, #stars of project, #issues

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The Boss: "Alice, what's the status of your project?" Alice: "The astonishing incompetence of others caused me to jump through a window and land in a dumpster." The Boss: "So then, no issues?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writer, #tech term, #dongle, #emailing, #loser

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Carol: "GAAA!!! This writer misused the technical term "dongle." That idiot!" "I'm e-mailing this loser to tell him I plan to boycot the newspaper!" "DIE, LOSER, DIE!!!" "I'll come back later."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scathing letter, #coulmnist, #dongle, #vebal superiority, #feel alive, #dear nutbag

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Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #response to letter, #apologize, #admits error, #starting war, #mean spirit, #hating minorities

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Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken promises, #scammers, #lies, #vendor, #salesman, #telling lies, #deadlines, #software, #few extras, #unfinished features, #engineering

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Vendor: We'll build your software with all the features you want plus a few extras. Dilbert: "Or maybe you'll start late and claim there's no way to do everything by the deadline." "Then you'll say that the unfinished features aren't important and you're losing money on the deal." Vendor: "I can't hear you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation schedule, #more than accrued, #actual vacation, #remain upbeat, #quit, #quit on vacation, #slavery

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"Here's my vacation schedule." "Good." "Whoa! You're planning to take more vacation days than you've accrued." "It's okay because I'll accrue the days before the actual vacation." "No can do. What if you quit before then?" "I'm literally afraid to hear the answer to that question." "Think, man! If you quit and have vacation at the same time..." "I'LL BE DOWN TWO PEOPLE!!!" "It's hard to remain upbeat." "Do you still live here?"