Drink Coffee Comic Strips - Page 30

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398 Results for Drink Coffee

View 291 - 300 results for drink coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Drink Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags being replced, robot, hack into, disgruntled robot, objective unclear, fax machine, paranoid

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Wally: Im being replaced by a robot that drinks coffee and looks at inappropruye websites all day. Dilbert: Lets hack into it and make it disgruntled. Robot: My objectives are unclear and I think the fax machine is plotting against me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags breakroom, coffee into wine, hay-soos, jesus, miracle, new employee, special powers, hair, bald

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Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffe maker, aggressive, machine, contraption, big, metal, fierce, ridiculous

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Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antimatter dilbert, matterscreen, coffee, annihilated

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Anti-Dilbert says, "I'm the antimatter Dilbert. If my thin film of matterscreen washed off, I would come in contact with matter and be annihilated." SPLOOSH! KABOOM! Alice thinks, "Once again, my first instinct wasn't the best."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moral compass, damaged, groomed for management, coffee in face, wrong

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A woman says, "I hear your moral compass is damaged and you're being groomed for upper management." SPLOISH! Dilbert says, "Was that wrong? Because I can't tell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags futurists, baby boomers, retire, coffee, standing

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Wally says, "Futurists say that when baby boomers start retiring in big numbers, you won't be able to fill critical job openings." Wally says, "If you agree to let me slack off now, I'll give you a few good years when I'm sixty." The Boss says, "What if you renege?" Wally says, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags standing, project, coffee, matter

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The Boss says, ?Another division needs your help for a six-month project.? Dilbert says, ?Who will do my work here?? The Boss says, ?You'll keep doing this job too, but only the things that matter.? Dilbert says, ?How long have I been doing things that don't matter?? The Boss says, ?Oops.?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scope, calibrated, budget, save money, friend, elrod, shady, tinker, bad idea, car, bathrub, drink, relationships

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Dilbert says, "Our scope needs to be calibrated. Do we have a budget for that?" The Boss says, "We can save a few bucks by sending it to my friend, Elrod. He likes to tinker." Dilbert says, "Everything about that idea is bad." The Boss says, "You should see the car he made from a bathtub."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags party, woman, date, hold drink, invent, shoulder phone, old man's head, soup, bones, scary, arm out, surprised, run away, scared, Dogbert, trick, auto-answer, kiss

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Dilbert says, "It's a shoulder phone shaped like an old man's head. I invented it myself." Phone says, "Let's make soup from her bones, just like the others!" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't have told Dogbert it has auto-answer." Phone says, "Kiss me! Now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags plan, transfer, missile guidance engineering division, pour coffee, face front, unimportant tasks, destroy, fishing village, lazy

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Wally says, "I asked for a transfer to our missile guidance engineering division." Wally says, "Once they get to know me, they'll only give me unimportant tasks so I won't accidentally destroy a fishing village." Wally says, "The great thing about unimportant tasks is that no one really cares if you do them."