Hiring The Best Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

347 Results for Hiring The Best

View 291 - 300 results for hiring the best comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring The Best" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #qualifications, #interview, #job interview, #outsmart

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend

Thank you for voting.
 Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #breakup, #dating, #breaking up, #drone, #stalking, #follow, #spying, #attention, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm breaking up with you because you don't give me enough attention. All you care about is your stupid aerial photography hobby. I wish you the best. That felt like a clean break.

Alice Should Network With Men

Thank you for voting.
Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.

Team Interview

Thank you for voting.
Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #managers, #interviews, #employment, #honesty, #candor, #warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

Why All The Women Leave

Thank you for voting.
Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Dilbert Will Not Babysit

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Will Not Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #trick, #deception, #adoption, #babysitter, #babysitting

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Uh-oh. My babysitter canceled for tonight. Dilbert: Too bad. Carol: Hey, I have an idea. Do you like kids? Dilbert: I will not watch your kids tonight. Carol: I was going to ask you to adopt them. Dilbert: Absolutely not. The best I can do is watch them tonight.

When Does The Motivation Start

Thank you for voting.
When Does The Motivation Start - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #effective, #effectiveness, #executives, #motivation, #eric scott

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In the meeting, you said you are the best at motivating. I was wondering when you plan to start, because I could use some motivation. CEO: I've been doing it for five years. Dilbert: At work?

Asok Meets His Equal

Thank you for voting.
Asok Meets His Equal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #accuse, #label, #racist, #sexist, #negotiation, #clever, #outsmart, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.

New Ted

Thank you for voting.
New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.