Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

434 Results for Long Nose

View 291 - 300 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags standing, project, coffee, matter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, ?Another division needs your help for a six-month project.? Dilbert says, ?Who will do my work here?? The Boss says, ?You'll keep doing this job too, but only the things that matter.? Dilbert says, ?How long have I been doing things that don't matter?? The Boss says, ?Oops.?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags question, cubicle, fix bugs, control management software, lie, truth, square dance, ignorance, pleaser

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How long will it take to fix the bugs in our control management software?" Dilbert says, "Do you want a realistic estimate that will ruin your day, or a lie that will allow your ignorance and your happiness to lock arms and square dance to the next cubicle?" The Boss says, "That second option sounds festive." Dilbert says, "I'm a pleaser."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, project, length, add people, months, useless, sit down, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How long will your project take if I add two people?" Dilbert says, "Add one month for training, one month for the extra complexity, and one month to deal with their drama." The Boss says, "But after all of that?" Dilbert says, "They'll be as useful as this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags powerpoint coma, trance, eyes wide, funny poses, finger up nose, police, brain, dead, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh. My audience has fallen into a Powerpoint coma." Dilbert thinks, "The only thing I can do now is put them in funny poses and leave." Police Officer says, "It looks like his finger hit brain."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, customer, wear jacket, lazy, optimism, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book deal, ghost writer, dog, publishing, first draft, quotes, knife, dying, dead, wave hand, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, restaurant, drink, martini, olive, choke, shake hand, vortex of failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Maybe I can't offer as much as other guys." Dilbert says, "I spend my days clinging to the walls of my fabric-covered box while being consumed by a vortext of failure." Woman says, "But long term?" Dilbert says, "Probably choke to death on an olive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer monitors, two, king, queen, evil grin, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "In the land of cubicles, the man with two monitors is king." Dilbert says, "I pity my uni-monitored subjects, but I cannot respect them." Meanwhile, in another corner of the kingdom? Alice says, "The king is dead. Long live the queen."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags recalibarating, faith in humanity, reading opinions, message boards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fear, honesty, panic, reality, worried, first recession, hopes and dreams dashed, yank band aid

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "This is my first recession. How worried should I be?" Wally says, "You'll be fine as long as you don't have any hopes and dreams." Asok says, "But I still have them." Wally says, "It's time to yank off that band-aid."