Odds Seem Low Comic Strips - Page 30
305 Results for Odds Seem Low
View 291 - 300 results for odds seem low comic strips. Discover the best "Odds Seem Low" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 08, 2017's comic on:
Ted: You charged expenses to my project code. Dilbert: I had to because I don't have a budget. Ted: This will make it seem as if I went over budget while you didn't spend a penny. Dilbert: Good point. Wally: How's your project coming along with no budget? Dilbert: Better than I'd hoped.
Share July 16, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.
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Share September 08, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.
Share January 08, 2018's comic on:
Dogbert consults DOgbert: Company rules forbid you from insulting your co-workers. I'll teach you how to insult each other while staying within company guidelines. The boss: That doesn't seem possible. Dogbert: you should look into getting a standing desk.
Share February 04, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?
Share March 04, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.
Share June 05, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I told our boss his presentation had a low signal-to-noise ratio and he thought it was a compliment. Wally: I think you just invented my new favorite game. Working for you is like boiling an ocean. Boss: Thank you!