Pay To Protest Comic Strips - Page 30
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342 Results for Pay To Protest
View 291 - 300 results for pay to protest comic strips. Discover the best "Pay To Protest" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 06,
2015
If You Double Your Productivity
Tags productivity, work ethic, reward, wages, double-standard, money
Transcript
Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.
Saturday August 08,
2015
The World Always Needs Bankers
Tags banking, big business, college, crime, debt, future, hope, job, money, robot, robots, stealing, business, education
Transcript
Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.
Thursday September 24,
2015
Ceo Compensation
Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives
Transcript
Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.
Sunday December 27,
2015
Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business
Transcript
Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.
Sunday January 10,
2016
Tags justice, trial, jury duty, laziness, lazy, juror, legal system
Transcript
Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.
Thursday February 04,
2016
Asok Returns From Fbi
Tags racism, arrest, terrorist, terrorism, protest, friendship, relationship, commitment, apathy, relationships
Transcript
Asok: The FBI held me for three weeks on suspicion that I was a terrorist. I assume you were protesting outside the FBI building the entire time and they didn't tell me. Because racism? Dilbert: Oh, right. Yes. We were protesting the entire time.
Monday February 08,
2016
Employee Hat With Sensors
Tags mind control, thoughts, police, policing, work ethic, leisure, daydreaming, control, surveillance, legal
Transcript
Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.
Thursday February 25,
2016
Asok The Uber Driver
Tags driver, taxi, ride share, rideshare, money, compensation, wages
Transcript
Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?
Tuesday March 08,
2016
Try Not Being Boring
Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business
Transcript
CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.
Monday March 21,
2016
Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief
Tags identity theft, internet, racism, reputation, guest artist, joel friday, technology
Transcript
Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.