Plan Comic Strips - Page 30
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517 Results for Plan
View 291 - 300 results for plan comic strips. Discover the best "Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 23,
2003
Tags lazy beaver, excuses, doesnt return calls, making excuses, more jobs, future jobs, scamming, both sdies
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday March 22,
2003
Tags work, requirements, cleverly hide comptenece, workflow
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I can't start the project because the user won't give me his requirements." The Boss replies, "Start making something anyway. Otherwise we'll look unhelpful." Dilbert says, "So, our plan is to cleverly hide our competence." The Boss responds, "You think too much."
Monday May 05,
2003
Tags new thoughts, head heavier, compensate, meeting, no goals, be on stamp, future golas, business
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I think my head is getting heavier from all the new thoughts." Wally continues, "I plan to compensate by propping it up with my arm during meetings." Dilbert says, "Some people think you have no goals." Wally responds, "Long term, I hope to be on a stamp."
Wednesday May 14,
2003
Tags corner cubicle, most pretigious, entre row, control window, harness sun, no screen glare
Transcript
Alice enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "The corner cubicle opened up. I plan to make it mine." Alice chuckles and says continues, "That's right: I'll be sitting in the most prestigious cubicle in the entire row! Fear me!" Alice laughs harder and adds, "Buwaha! From there I will control the window shades and harness the sun!" Dilbert responds, "Please.. no screen glare."
Tuesday May 20,
2003
Tags hire emplyees, qaulified, hore dumb people, motivation
Transcript
Catbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "We can't afford to hire qualified employees." Catbert continues, "My plan is to hire dumb people and be angry at them." Catbert replies, "I forget - what's the word for pretending that people can change their basic nature?" The Boss replies, "Motivation?"
Tuesday June 03,
2003
Tags gambling casino, bad luck, casino, extraordinary bad luck
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting on his couch, reading a book. Dogbert stands on the armrest and says, "I plan to open a gambling casino for people who have extraordinarily bad luck." Dilbert asks, "How can you tell who has extraordinarily bad luck?" Dogbert replies, "They would be the ones that go to my casino."
Thursday July 03,
2003
Tags grow revenue, new products, calling in strategy, eliminate waste, miss you
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our strategy is to grow revenue from new products." Dilbert turns to The Boss and asks, "How obvious does an idea need to be before we'll stop calling it a strategy?" The Boss says, "And we plan to eliminate waste." Dilbert responds, "We'll miss you."
Thursday July 10,
2003
Tags ring thingy, grew up and moved away, worked well, children grew, while working
Transcript
The Boss is sitting at his desk. The phone rings. The Boss thinks, "Ringy thingy." The Boss picks up the phone. The voice at the other end says, "While you were working, your children grew up and moved away." After the phone call, The Boss sits and thinks, "I've never had a plan that worked so well."
Thursday September 11,
2003
Tags created time line, identified resources, revise timeline, re examine, thousand ways, haven't done anything
Transcript
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."
Wednesday October 08,
2003
Tags profitability, year 3, key revenue, comet strike oil, crashes through wall, abstractions, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

