Staff Meetings Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

333 Results for Staff Meetings

View 291 - 300 results for staff meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Staff Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Four Hour Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Double Standard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Double Standard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #Women, #Men, #curse, #cursing, #swearing, #swear, #yelling, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #double-standard

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #happiness, #work, #labor, #employee, #stimulation, #boredom, #interest, #human resources, #psychology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

Forgetting Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #absent mindedness, #forgetting, #therapy, #irony, #psychology, #psychiatry

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #time, #boredom, #sarcasm, #lifespan, #life, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Network Is Slow

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Network Is Slow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bandwidth, #network, #speed, #nsfw, #videos, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.

The Comparison Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Comparison Problem  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #comparison, #power, #money, #perspective, #happiness, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.